Looking for advice?

Okay, so basically I(m19) got roped into a small road trip to the other side of the province with 2 of my friends, R and M, both m19.

Ive recently had some questionable gripes with R, considering he has the really strange, hyperspecific brand of humor where he likes to say offensive things purely for shock value when its just the 3 of us. He's kind of a strange person overall, always seems like hes wearing a mask of unseriousness, never seen him without it except the one time back ib high school when i was about to off myself (only time thankfully). granted, im pretty sure he doesnt actually believe any of the absurd stuff he jokes about just strictly for shock value, only between the 3 of us. Im a pretty hard leftist, and M is pretty left leaning. M says that 'R has a weird way of expressing himself'. which would lead me to believe he doesnt care, or at least sees something under R'S strange behavior. On account of my moral ocd and bpd, i have been cracking down harder on Rs 'Jokes' and being clear i dont want to associate with that.

I have been distancing myself more from R, but he is a lot better than he was in high school when it comes to his brand of humor, its kinda rare now but still present occasionally.

But still, now im roped into this road trip where im stuck with him, and i think i could have fun, but it feels kind of off considering ill have to be overthinking the friendship the whole time. i mean, i want to get out of the house, but fuck, i feel like im failing as a person by tolerating him...

What do i do?