Should I(20m) tell my boyfriend(20m) I used to have a crush on my best friend?
We’re both in college and I have a best friend i’m very close with who drives up to visit about once a month. He’s become friends with my other friends and we all hang out together, I love getting to hang out with him and I don’t have any romantic feelings towards him anymore.
I used to have a crush on him in high school years ago, I confessed and got rejected and it’s something we joke about. The beginning of our friendship was very messy, my boyfriend was asking about how we met / our past since I joked about how we used to be a mess but grew from it. I just told him the stories of how we used to argue and stopped being friends a few times but are super close now.
I haven’t mentioned the crush part because I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable or insecure with me still being best friends with someone I used to like, even if it was a while ago. We’ve only been dating for a few weeks but he struggles with anxiety and feelings of doubt and I don’t want to put any ideas in his head or make him nervous when I spend time alone with my friend.
But I also don’t want to keep things from him. I doubt my best friend would ever tell him, but if the joke does come up I feel like it would be worse for him to find out that way and think I was hiding it. It’s easy enough to tell my friend to just never mention it, but it still feels wrong to keep that a secret forever since it’s something he (jokingly) teases me about and other people also know.
Is it worth saying something to my boyfriend in recounting how we met? He was invested in my storytime which I had to cut short, I just don’t know if I should cut that part out or be completely honest. I don’t want him to think anything’s up between us and get insecure, but i’m nervous if he were to find out later in our relationship that would be worse and he’d be upset I didn’t tell him.
Posted Apr 1, 2026, 5:48 AM UTC