i broke no contact

me and my ex where broken up since end of dec, I acted like a crazy person up until mid Feb. havent texted her since early march( was just a mutual misunderstanding and she was nice about it). She wanted no contact and yeah I feel much better this month.

But I saw a reel she had liked about " I will not let physics humble me, I will crack physics and not the other way over" I found it genuinely funny. Then like 2 reels after I saw one saying " you will ace physics twin " you will get that A. whatever. I sent it to her. I don't know why. But I sent it. She legit saw it like 5 min later and left me on seen.

I honestly dont feel super hurt. But I do feel a little embarrassed and a little hurt.

Truth be told I am not over her what so ever, my life has been going uphill the past month and i have been happier since breaking up. But I miss her a lot, I miss her. I wont lie that I think of us getting back together a lot. but obv I am trying to kill that thought in my head.

It just breaks my heart because I genuinely meant it as a friendly reel. I get it that might have not came across as that. but honestly, I do feel like that's what I was trying to do.

Is the fact she did not respond mean she does not care about me anymore and can leave me on read just like that. She is over me and I look like a clown.

Am I a clown? be honest. I know I did not handle our break up well. I cried like a lil boy. I feel so stupid rn.