advice on how to stop pulling?

22. been pulling nearly half my life.

it makes me anxious to pull, and anxious to not pull.

i pull when im bored. i pull when im upset. i pull when im stressed. i can't stop.

i will stare at myself in the mirror for hours, watching myself sift through my hair, looking for the Right One. i pull it. and then i will chew it and eat it.

it's awful. my friends think my hair is thinning. my family hasn't said anything about it, but i know they have noticed.

i've tried wearing my hair in different styles, tried washing it less often or more often, i've tried counting how many days i'm pull-free, i've even tried swapping out what hair i pull (top of my head vs my arms- i always go back to my head). nothing seems to work.

is the next step therapy and/or meds? i've gone to therapy before, for my depression and anxiety, but i don't know how to talk about this with someone. i am afraid that it will be swept under the rug.

i don't pull BECAUSE im anxious. i simply pull and feelings surround that action. it was actually the discovery of this sub-reddit that helped me realize that i probably do have some kind of obsession/compulsion that surrounds pulling my hair. it's terrifying. i feel out of control.

i don't know what to do. i don't have bald spots/ any noticable bald spots, but my hair is definitely thinning. it takes a lot of self control to not just rip and pull everything out in one sitting. i feel like i could rip myself bald if i tried.

i feel crazy.

i wish this would just go away. i am so sick of this feeling.