I feel defeated trying to build a social life.

I'm a 25 year old dude who has been playing catch up for the past 5 because of how socially stunted I am. I've made it very far from practically being non-verbal and avoidant, but I've hit a wall with making actual long term relationships, platonic or romantic. Everybody is just so busy with other stuff and it feels like such an impossible grind to actually plan a hangout or a date. The people I invite to go do things bail last second or have other stuff going on. I feel like I'm often alienated in most activities that are designed to meet new people, or I just don't feel like I'm a good fit in most of them. I can't get past a 2nd date, and I probably only go on 4 dates a year max. It's killing my confidence, I'm unsure what value I add to people's lives other than being kind and curious. Is it enough? What more do I need to become just to be accepted and loved by others?

It makes me so insecure that something will be wrong with me forever. I can hardly ever progress past small talk and water cooler topics. I'm going nuts. I'd like to have a core group of friends and maybe a partner some day, but right now I feel totally uncertain about my future and breaking out of constant loneliness. It scares me.