Elton John tickles the ivories like a dream

My dating profile said I wanted someone with rhythm, so I walked in on my boyfriend tickling the ivories like his life depended on it. Turns out Elton John would’ve been disappointed - my guy’s got the coordination of a drunk flamingo. He kept going even when I asked him to stop, just kept yelling "hold on babe, it’s a complex arrangement!" while my ears bled. Now I’m just waiting for the day he tries to play "Your Song" as foreplay.