I kissed a neighbor that was friends with both me and my five year fiancé. Well, my fiancé was out of town.

For some context, me and my fiancé that were together for five years split up after I made out with a mutual friend and she told her before I did and the only reason I didn’t tell her was because I was waiting for after her stressful event and was nervous about telling her obviously, but I had plans for it in the next week.

That being said, after this she has been flying back here to my home state a few times a year staying with me and other friends places we would go and do whatever snowboarding or hiking or a weekend in a nice hotel.

We have been working through things and she thought a lot more happened then what really did. She knows now what actually happened but is damaged as expected and as she should be.

I’ve spent years working on rebuilding trust and I know that’s hard but it was working until last week…

I have not messaged a single female in the last two years besides one that I heard that my ex got onto Hinge, but we were still talking and being exclusive and I got mad and I messaged a girl, but I did not actually act on anything and all that it was was, we were going to take our dogs to a creek together. That’s a very popular walking location

Me and my ex spent five days doing a ski trip and I fell asleep before her as we went out and I had a few beers and she decided to go through my phone.

She was looking for women on my phone and did not find any, but she saw messages between me and my homeboys.

All of my friends have been seriously hassling me about moving on from this girl, but I love her and I will not move on from her until it’s over because we have been in constant communication daily. She will call me every night. We talk all day and we’re trying to work on things, but my friends are just like “dude you just need to move on!”

I’m not moving on, and I decided to tell my friends that I was seeing this chick that lives in my apartment building the same apartment that I lived with my fiancé in.

She went through my messages and did not find any women so she went into my friends chats and my group chats with my close friends and found things saying that I hooked up with this girl that lives in my building, but I was just saying it to get them off my back about moving on when in reality I was working on things with her.

Now I am trying to fight for the fact that I told my guys some bullshit so they would get off my back about moving on when in reality I was just working on my relationship that I fucked up by kissing our neighbor, but my ex fiancé is convinced that I have been sleeping with neighbors that live in our building.

I have tried to explain to her that her going through messages with a guy and his guy friends is crazy because you were going to see the most absurd, funny, sexist, racist, fucking crazy bullshit but none of it means anything, but she is a woman and she does not understand this so she is waking me up at our hotel by the ski resort and attacking me about you lied to me you said that I was the only one and she is the only one, but I lied to my friends to get them off my back about moving on and now the last two years of repair that I’ve been working on are down the tubes….

I don’t know what to do because this was a week ago and we’ve been trying to fix it, but she just flew back home and now she’s convinced that I’m lying to her and I don’t know what to do to fix this…

I genuinely have not seen any other woman in the last seven years since we got together in the last two since we broke up because we’ve been in constant communication so she told me that she made a Hinge account and she’s gonna be dating but she’s still attacking me so as of tonight she blocked me and I understand her concern but how the fuck do I help her understand that men talk to each other in a different way than women and she going through my messages with my closest friends, was like going through a teenage girls diary and taking everything at face value, FUCK!

I don’t know how to help her understand that the way that guys talk to each other in private chats and group chats is so different than what reality is, but I also understand her reading through these messages while I was asleep is very concerning to her. I need help on how to approach her and help her understand that what I’ve said to friends was just me being insecure and bullshitting my homies…