Hey, I hate you

You did what you did and it’s not even the worse part of our relationship you belittled,humiliated and put me down for years so gradually I didn’t even realize it was happening you stripped me of any confidence I had you made me feel small and defenseless but gave me just enough gentleness to keep me around your temper and anger scared me but somehow SOMEHOW you flipped everything so I would feel sorry for you what do I even call that ? I hate that I have to heal from things like slamming doors, the sound of fists hitting tables, being told you’d drown yourself in alcohol and drugs if I left and you get to what ? Heal from being unconditionally loved ? Im angry, infuriated, biblical amounts of rage I hate you, you miserable human being