AITA for standing up to my in-laws who don’t respect my boundaries (absolute power over most of the known world)?

I’ve really been through a lot with this, so sorry if I’m trauma dumping, but the new support group I’ve been going to has helped me realise it’s important to get these things off your lorica.

Things first started with my father-in-law (60M). This guy had been a real trailblazer in his day, accomplishing Herculean tasks, but just couldn’t accept that it was time to let me run the family business. He kept trying to come out of retirement and tbh I felt overwhelmed. Things all got a bit messy (especially for that decoy eunuch) but eventually we talked things through properly and I made FiL realise how selfish he was being.

The problem was his son (29M), a total narcissist, also wasn’t respecting my boundaries, which properly encompassed Italy and Africa which he seemed to think he had some kind of right to. So I went over to his (Rome) to speak my truth. In the end BiL did try to build a bridge between us, but at this point it was honestly too little too late, but it was a really valuable XP experience for me.

Afterwards, I spent a bit more time with my other brother-in-law (48M). I have to admit at first I really liked this guy. It seemed like we shared the same progressive values and got on really well. But gradually it turned out he really wasn’t the best guy to have around. He hung out with this toxic guy I’d had to cut out of my life, then accused me of not respecting HIS boundaries (the River Danube), and worst of all turned out actually be a bit of a bigot deep down. There were several blazing rows but eventually we were able to put him it all to rest. His son, my nephew (10M), also showed some worrying signs from what he’d picked up from his dad, so I had to do what any responsible uncle would and sort that out.

To add to all of this, I gradually realised there was clearly something inappropriate going on between my wife (37F) and my son from an earlier relationship (26M). Apart from this being just DIGUSTING there’s also the huge power imbalance to consider. Like she is was 37 and he is was only the commander of the Rhine frontier. And all in all, cheating is just a complete nope for me (I’ve made it a capital crime), so I had to make my son appreciate the consequences of his actions. As for my wife, well frankly I deserve better than to be treated like that, and it kind of all came out when she was taking aaaggggesss in the bathroom. But I’m glad I’ve held her to account too.

At the end of the day, I know I’m a good dad and that I’ve done a great job with my four three boys, and my nephews (the alive ones). It’s important to deal with generational trauma and not let it affect your kids, and I KNOW that they all understand how to respect each other’s boundaries.