Going to my "backup" state school was the best thing that I ever did

I got admitted to my T10 dream school 11 years ago and due to a combination of financial issues (my parents could afford it and chose not to pay) and reality hitting me in the face (I was planning to be an English major), I chose to go to my flagship state school with a scholarship (not a UC).

It was the best decision of my life.

Initially, I had a lot of the same thoughts I see in this subreddit: why did I work so hard to end up with all the kids who partied, how are people going to look at me when I should have been at <T10>, this is beneath me, I worked so hard I earned the right to attend <T10> and everyone here slacked off in high school, etc.

I was so, so wrong. 

First, most of the students I met were so incredibly smart. A lot of them were from small towns across my state and were some of the most academically gifted people I had ever interacted with. I knew numerous people for whom my state school was their dream program and they proceeded to get 4.0s in Engineering (a T10 program at my school) while also being in greek life, student orgs, and intramural sports. I was in absolute awe of many of my classmates and those people have all gone on to have very successful early careers.

Second, people were fun. I didn’t realize how much I needed balance in my life until I got to college. I joined a club sport, I joined clubs simply because I enjoyed them and not because I wanted to do it for the sake of getting into some college. I took classes I thought were interesting instead of because I needed to compete with other people. It was awesome. Everyone around me had different goals, different backgrounds, and a different version of success that was very refreshing. I came from an upper middle class home where college was expected, my older siblings went to T5 private colleges, and a high-paying job was an expectation. Meeting people whose family life trajectory was changed because they got an entry-level accounting job was eye opening for me and really important to  my personal development.

Third, people typically stay around the major metro area near the school. My 3 closest friends from college all still live within an hour of me. I regularly run into people from clubs / classes in my major city. At my first job, I had 100+ alum immediately available in senior roles across the company that I could reach out to. This, of course, happens at top schools, too, but having 100,000+ working alumni is really nice.

In terms of outcomes (since you all are likely worried about that):

• I went into consulting after under grad and was making $250k within 5 years
• I got into a top MBA program (current student)
• I met my now-wife in college
• I’m still connected to multiple clubs I was a part of on campus as an alumni mentor (the network is strong)
• I graduated with $5,000 in debt which was paid off in my first year of working

I am not some 1% outcome case for my university. I am still in touch with 30+ people from undergrad (and more via friends-of-friends and professional connections), most of whom have had very similar career and personal life trajectory to me.

I’m not saying this is the outcome everyone gets, but if you go into your backup schools with a horrible attitude, you’re guaranteeing yourself being miserable and bitter.

Take the next few weeks to feel bad and be upset — it’s totally natural. You all worked very hard and that work did not go to waste. Rechannel your energy into your new program! Then, put on your new college sweatshirt, start meeting people in the WhatsApp groups / Instagram, and get excited for the next 4 years of your life. 

Good luck!