I really liked the look back manga when I first read it, but I loved it, when I saw the movie in cinema, because at this point in my life, the movie just clicked with me.

A thought as Look Back as a manga about dreams, more specifically about how following your dreams means to  bring sacrifices. The story felt deeply personal to me, because while I am not in any way involved with art, I too have a dream job that is psychologically exhausing, often stressfull and comes with long hours, not only is it harmfull in a way, but it also leaves little time for anything else. 

I feel like Fujimoto puts a lot of his personal feelings into all of his manga, including his long running ones.

At this point, I need to explain a bit about my interpretation of CSM Part 2 to be able make the point I want to make: 

In the beginning we see Denji having normal dreams, like playing video games with a girl.  A lot happens through Makima‘s grooming and interactions with characters like Reze (country mouse vs. city mouse), but that woukd be going to far now.

So all the way back, like 4 years ago, Denji was reintroduced in CSM Part 2, wearing a chainsaw-man t-shirt, obviously onky able to find any kind of self worth as chainsaw man, I allready wondered, wheather Fujimoto was making a commentary on his own feelings of self worth (in interviews he seems to often struggle with his worth as an artist), after chainsaw man made him famous. 

Denji for the whole of part 2 is on a downward spiral: after Aki and Powers death and Makima blaming him for those, we see him coping in Kishibes bunker, seeing girls like chainsaw man, he sees this as the only thing, why people woukd ever like him, obsessing wih being chainsaw man (and sex, because a healthy relationship seems also impossible to him, equating sex with it instead).

In his interactions with Asa, we see Denji move forward again and again, just to be pushed back into his coping mechanisms by the outise world: Nayuta wants him to be chainsaw man, Barem and Death need him to turn into chainsaw man, Yoru plays into his sex drive, so does Fumiko.

In the end, Denji harms himself and the people around him (Nayuta‘s death, Asa‘s constent not even questioned). Denji‘s dreams have turned into harmfull addictions and obsessions.

He is unable, to pull himself out until the end, only a complete reset of the world can possibly help him ever find happiness again, even if the world he finds himself in is dangerous and he will be missing something for the rest of his life (missing a dog in the last chapter, despite not remembering pochita). We also see him long for a normal life (wishing to go to school, subconciously remembering Reze) and looking full of longing at Asa having a nor,almlife now, playing with her classmates.

I think, that this ending is once again very personal. 

While look back is about the sacrifices you make to achieve your dream, CSM oart 2 is about your dreams turning into obsessions that harm you and people people around you. While CSM part 2 is honestly wuite messy, it still feels like a progression of Look Back‘s themes to me.

It feels like Fujimoto was realizing, that the story of CSM (be it the work load or being stuck with the story) was harming him and harming people around him (His Family? Maybe girlfriend? His new goldfish?). People, maybe Shonen Jump kept pushing him back, just like Denji was pushed back again and again, and ending it in thus way was the only possibility for him to finally overcome it, even if he still loved it and will miss it in a way (just like Denji still misses pochita ). 

Denji is longing for a normal live now. What will Fujimoto do next? A short story? A monthly series? Maybe just write? I am very curious, I do hope he gets some rest, though.

Maybe I am reading to much into it at the end, but amidst all the hate the ending of part 2 gets, I feel that - like with all Fujimoto stories - considering his personal feelings he put into it is necessary. 

Other subreddits are still in shock about the CSM-ending, so honest discussion is often met with just negativity, so since the progression from look back to CSM was a central element of this convokuted thought progress, I posted this here and would live some thoughts and imput!

Look Back and The End of Chainsaw Man - Fujimoto and Dreams