AITAH for "expecting an allowance" out of my own paycheck?

I (49M) am the primary breadwinner in our household and work full time, 40 hours per week with an extra 10 hours commuting. My spouse (43F) works 2 days per week outside of the home and is a SAHM the rest of the time. I bring in about 3x what she does on an annual basis. The only debt we carry are a mortgage and car loans. Everything else is covered in a month, usually by what I bring home, but sometimes she does contribute to the monthly expenses. In her eyes, every spare dollar should go to the mortgage or car loans. There are 3 young kids in the house ranging from 4-9, and I do all of the meal prep, clean up, laundry, baths and bedtime routine, haul the trash out, do the yard work, etc. etc.

My singular hobby is guitar. I like to find deals on cheap guitars, then flip them for a profit and buy something else. My spouse at one point told me she didn't want to hear about guitars and to not talk about them around her. So, I stopped talking about them. Suddenly, I was branded a liar, sneak and thief for "stealing from the family." Also, for not telling her that I was selling or shipping a guitar out. She carries several subscriptions that she uses regularly, as well as has spent monthly money on regular lessons for her "hobby."

In a joint therapy session it was mentioned that perhaps I should have a spreadsheet to track my purchases and sales and have an "allowance" that I can spend however I want. Spouse doesn't think I should have money to "blow on myself" when the "family has expenses." I went back and did 13 months of activity and I'm currently +$78 for that period. So, my hobby has actually brought back money.

AITAH for thinking I should be able to have some sort of hobby, or, at minimum, an "allowance" that doesn't have to be fully accounted for? To my spouse, anything over say $10 bucks needs to be a joint decision. etc.