is having a genital preference transphobia? worried

I am a lesbian and I would not consider myself transphobic. I am friends with multiple trans people and one of my siblings is nonbinary

I have dated a trans woman in the past, we were together for around nine months but we did not sleep together in that time because she was asexual, and I was fine with that. I hooked up with a trans friend once but we did not go any further than “hand stuff” and oral . But i was thinking recently that I would not have liked to have intercourse with either of those women because penetration makes me very uncomfortable. And it isn’t because i think a penis is “male genitalia” (which i know is an argument often used when this question is asked), I don’t think genitals really have a gender, I think that giving body parts gender is stupid. You wouldn’t say your left leg is a boy or a girl, because that wouldn’t make any sense. What about that part of your body makes it male or female? i don’t enjoy strap-ons either, in my previous relationships/hookups with cis women I have much more preferred being the one giving than receiving. I can’t explain why it makes me so uncomfortable, I just don’t like it and I never have.

I’m not assuming that all trans women want penetrative sex, I know that HRT makes it difficult for many of them anyway, what i am trying to ask is if I say i don’t want that particular type of sex with a trans woman, could it be considered transphobia? It’s not because she is trans, it is because i do not like the penetrative part, but that is also part of her body and she cannot change it.

I don’t know if “genital preference” is the right term for what i am trying to say because i have engaged sexually with trans women before, I would pursue another relationship with a trans woman, and would partake in a sexual relationship, but penetration is completely off the table for me and is not something i want or desire — and that has nothing to do the woman’s genitalia. I don’t want it from a woman with a vagina or from a woman with a penis.

Idk. Worried that this is some type of transphobia i don’t want to make someone dysphoric or upset them