I didn't know I deserved to be healthy.

about 8 months ago I moved from the United States to Germany. I have my first "official" job contract, and with it, was able - obligated even - to sign up for statuatory health insurance.

I know this takes more from my paycheck, in a country with already high taxes. But I'm planning to find a dermatologist for the first time in my life to help treat the Psoriasis I've had since I was 17. If I get really sick, it won't affect my finances for the rest of the year!!!

On top of that, I had to double check with my boss, because I was sure I misunderstood, that if I'm sick and call out, I still get paid. Even on the first day, before a doctors note is required.

I've been working while sick my entire adult life, to afford bills. Even when I had money, not going to lie, I felt terrible guilt - almost like a loser - for calling out and taking care of my own needs.

I didn't know I deserved to be healthy. I consider myself intelligent. I have a history degree, I knew intellectually that the United States was different.

If I get pneumonia or break my leg....it won't be the end of my life.

I deserve to be alive (??).