Learning how to stay

Inspection went well, and I’m about to close on my first home! weird to say

I saved for several years. Now at 38, I can afford a house by myself. I am purchasing a 2 bedroom mid-century ranch. The second bedroom is small and will be used for an office.

It’s near a five-mile park, the streets are tree-lined, and there are no mailboxes. Instead there’s mail slots on the doors. the house has original oak floors.

It’s not perfect. It has some issues, mostly minor electrical, but nothing I can’t handle.

I got it at $304k, and I am hoping to get some credits on my last leg of negotiation for the electrical issues. I did not get a great rate because of the war market + my downpayment (5%). However, it works for me, and hopefully I can refi someday.

My only real concern is I’m finally planting roots. : / I grew up in a very dysfunctional, drug-addicted family: worst poverty you can imagine, with some severe childhood neglect. Since I am autistic it was a really hard environment for me.

But I’m also a high-functioning, driven, and independent person. I moved out at 17, and I have moved through 7 states, visited 21 countries, and all completely on my own. No hereditary savings or support. As I don’t have a partner, and I no longer talk to my family.

By many measures I “succeeded despite the circumstances”

But after decades of apartments, the thing I am most scared of is the inability to get up and go.

Maybe on a deeper level, afraid to no longer be running from something…

I worry if I’ll be able to afford my trips to other countries again. I worry about the cats getting loose in the backyard.

I am excited about the wood stove in winter. And corner windows, and waking up to no one stomping above me. The backyard. the porch.

I’m a bit anxious, but I’m a bit overjoyed.

I don’t like social performance, and this post is a bit of it, but I want to share for people who are wondering and hoping for stability.

If my story is any indication, strategy and perseverance should pay off for you too.

Just keep believing in yourself, pace, use research, and you can make it. It seems like I will too.

Good luck out there!