Complaint

I’m extremely burnt out. I paid for a subscription to an app and it’s maybe been a few weeks since I used it. I desperately need it now but it logged me out for some reason. And I don’t have the energy to find my credentials to log back in. Why. Why did they log me out? It’s not like a banking app or something. Did they make updates? I don’t care. I just want to listen to some Louise Hay subliminal affirmations because maybe that will help. And now I can’t. And I’m just laying here thinking about how nice it would be to not exist. But don’t worry, I’m not actively suicidal. I know better than to try again. It just soothes my mind to imagine what death could feel like and to savor the presumably nothingness of it. To have no responsibilities. To have no parents who depend on me so much I have to give up other parts of my life because I ran out of spoons again before the middle of the day even hit. That’s all. Just needed to rant/vent.