Horrible first relationship i js cant let go of for some reason really need advice on this 🙏🙏🙏

This is a LONGGG one but its my entire relationship summarized i js rlly need help wit this

Basically im 16 now but when i was 15 i met my first gf and still only ex in highschool on march 13 2025 through my girl bestfriend who set us up together, and me and her started dating like 3 days into knowing eachother because she looked me in the eyes and said “when are you going to ask me to be your gf” anyway we dated for a week and broke up just like that, the reason was because she went to starbucks with a guy without telling me he ended up being the one to tell bc he thought i knew, we got back together 2 days later and started dating for a week or two and broke up on april first, she sent me a long paragraph saying i treated her very well and things like that but shes not the one for me ect, and i managed to stay in contact with her where i found out the truth she told me the real reason for the breakup was because she was in love with her ex of 2 years and wanted to spin back because his birthday was on april 4 and she didnt want to be with somebody else on his special day or something,

Than she told me that she went to his house gave him a box of cookies and 50 dollars and he hugged her and her mom or something and than told her they cant be together and wouldnt take her back.

(likely because of me as she got with me like 2 days after they broke up) than SOMEHOW i managed to get her back and we started dating again from april 11th all the way to may 20th and than i broke up with her because EVERY SINGLE DAY she would be reposting things about her ex things like still being in love with him etc and i was putting up with it untill one said things along the lines of “i could never want anyone other than my ex” so i dumped her, my birthday was on may 26th and she was texting me again on the 25th saying she still loves me im the best guy she ever talked to im the only guy she could ever want, i wasnt buying it so i said we need to leave eachother alone and blocked her, next morning its my birthday i go to the movies alone, mid movie i open up instagram her page is on suggested i click on it first thing i see her bio says “i love my bf” with tons of heart emojis she got back with the dude ON MY BIRTHDAY, and a month later i think in summer june 14th she sent me a longg paragraph saying shes sorry that i was the best person shes ever been with one more chance is all she wants from me, and i folded and got back together with her, but than she started randomly picking fights and arguments with me and would blame them all on me and say she did nothing wrong i was the one picking fights etc, one of the fights i very vividly remember she confused me with a different guy and i was pressing her asking and asking who did she confuse me with? And she REFUSED to tell me she did not want me knowing and would say “its nothing its nothing why cant you trust that its nothing” and i would reply with “ if its nothing than why cant i know??” And it was back and forth with this and ended with me apologizing like crazy, anyway now you have some idea of what most our arguments were like, we broke up like 5 times this summer over these dumb little arguments, when school started up again we were together for only one week because during passing periods at school i tried to hug her and she pushed me away from her infront of people, so i was pissed off the entire day like anyone would be, and she started asking why am i mad whats wrong and than said am i mad about this morning? And i said yes ofc im mad about that, AND THAN SHE STARTED CRYING?? Even though i shouldve been the one crying and i started trying to fix but it was to late she told me to leave so i did, and when i got home there was just a big breakup text waiting for me, we weren’t in contact for months Untill October her bestfriend randomly texted me saying “she misses youuu” and we started basically dating just without the title literally hugging and kissing that stuff, and when i asked why doesnt she want me to ask her out like officially she told me she was talking to this guy and he really likes her and has asked her to be his gf and she kept saying no because she doesnt want a relationship and i thought it was weird she was hiding me from this guy so she doesnt “hurt his feelings” because they were kind of a thing before she started talking to me again, but anyway that ended he stopped trying to get with her because he found out about me, than she started saying we need to cut contact and talk again in the future because she doesnt trust me anymore she thinks im

Gonna pick fights with her again if we start dating and that us breaking up and all the issues we had were all on me and it was me who ruined us.

On February she randomly followed me on instagram and we started talking again than after a day or two we started talking again all lovey and yeah you get it, this one day i told her i was going to sleep but i lied about it because something felt off i stayed up viewing her page and she started updating her bio with things directed to another guy which i found out was her ex the things it was saying was like “i hate pretending like i dont love you” “your breaking me saying that” “text me NOW” and i screenshotted and sent her that and sent a longggg paragraph talking about the horrible bad stuff she did to me for months that i put up with, and than blocked her than she started texting my friend saying to tell me to unblock her but i kept saying no because i was really hurt from that,

a month later NOW: i unblocked her and she started viewing all my stories and than we started talking again met up in person hung out and we did kind of madeout or wtv, than after 2 days she randomly blocked me after saying i was “manipulative” and now she unblocked me again a week later and shes viewing all my stories than blocks me out of nowhere and shes been still viewing all my stories but isn’t blocking me this time ill be honest im viewing all of hers back but i know i shouldnt still want to be with her but i do want to get back together again,i am going insane i dont know what to do please give your best advice. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

I really was like a genuine loverboy as corny as that sounds like i was straight up walking hours to go to her neighborhood so we could go on 30 min walks together and than walk hours back home, i was buying her bouquets of flowers, for her birthday i got her flowers and a big basket filled of everything she likes cut off all girls from my life, basically i did EVERYTHING RIGHT and still this is how my relationship turned out.

⬆️ This is what she means by i was the best person she ever talked to.