My girlfriend cheated early on and I’m trying to figure out if giving her another chance is stupid or understandable m27 m22

I’m looking for honest outside perspective because I feel emotionally all over the place and I don’t fully trust my judgment right now.

I’ve been with this girl exclusively for 4 months now, alex, and I recently found out she was talking to a guy behind my back during a period where we were still heavily involved and acting like we were working things out.

What makes it hurt more is that during that time, I was still seeing her, caring about her, helping her, talking to her, and trying to move with good intentions while she was also entertaining other people.

Here’s what I found out / what she admitted:

• She was talking to her ex behind my back.

• I found messages including things like her telling him goodnight / hope you sleep well.

• She admitted she used him as a “distraction.”

• She also admitted she went on multiple dates with another guy:

• one to a park

• one to the movies

• and to a dodgers game

• When I started piecing together the timeline, I noticed there were times she would go dry or distant with me while she was likely out with one of them.

• She also had some calls with her ex before we fully ended things.

• She admitted she even told her ex that I cheated on her.

. She also willingly called both and asked them questions about what they did or didnt do the 3 dates guy they held hands and then he was surprised she called because there last call she to told him she wasn’t interested & then with the ex they just would talk on the phone there were 3 - calls like 30 minutes long.. when I check the call log

What’s really messing me up is not just the cheating itself it’s replaying the timeline and realizing there were probably moments where I was sincerely showing up for her while she was moving in a way that would’ve crushed me if I knew in real time.

Since I found out, she’s been crying a lot, apologizing, taking accountability more than I expected, and saying she wants to be here for me and repair it. She says she wants to comfort me and make things right, and she agreed to relationship boundaries I laid out.

But I’m struggling because:

• I still love her.

• Part of me wants to try.

• Another part of me feels humiliated and stupid if I stay.

• My trust is badly damaged and I don’t know if I’ll ever fully see her the same.

I know people make mistakes, especially early on / in messy relationship situations, but this doesn’t feel small to me. It feels like betrayal, lying, emotional overlap, and me probably being way more invested / sincere than she was during that time.

So my question is:

Would you consider this something that can realistically be rebuilt from if she’s genuinely remorseful and consistent? Or is this the kind of thing where staying usually just leads to more pain later?