is so horrible that i’m contemplating abortion if i get pregnant….. id rather die cause i know the mental consequences

i’m 22 F and i messed up horribly and ended up having sex after going strong for God and told myself i would not do it until I am married. It didn’t happen obviously and now i’m in mental torment terrified that pregnancy is possible because the timeframe it all happened with my fertility window and ovulation. I’ve been praying and pleading to God that i am not pregnant not because i don’t want children but because i feel like i’d make the one decision in my life that id regret and i don’t want to do it but at the same time i can’t have this man’s child nor do i want a child out of wedlock.

Whether im pregnant or not, no joke this has turned me off 100% from having sex ever again until im married. cause having the baby isn’t what’s scaring me. it’s having a child with a man that’s not my husband nor my boyfriend…… and bringing my child into a complicated situation. then having to tell my family and just a plethora of other things idk. i’m so stupid for laying down in that bed and do what i did.