is it bad that i don’t see my family in my future?

i’m sorry this is all over the place. i’m usually better at writing but i need to get this off my mind.

both my parents are good people. they’ve made sure i had everything growing up and still support me financially as at my old age of 22, i can’t get a legal job for reasons not depending on me. it’s nothing bad btw, i’m a law abiding citizen lol. it will be another year and a half until the obstacle preventing me from getting a job is lifted off, so i’m likely to be living with my parents till at least 24. my younger brother is moving to another country to go to uni this summer and after that it will be me and them.

my mom is a bit controlling though she’d deny it if i ever got the gall to tell her that. sometimes she’ll nag me for small things that really shouldn’t bother her at all, like me deciding to have lunch early. sometimes it feels like i’m obliged to serve her emotional needs, she absolutely needs me to hug her every day or she’ll say i don’t love her. i’ve been uncomfortable hugging my mom ever since i was a teenager. i don’t know what’s wrong with me, i know this part is bad for sure but it’s the way i am, it’s not gonna change. she’s really attentive though and goes out her way to help me. even if i’m not asking for it, it has made my life better many times. i’m also not the easiest person to be around, i’m snappy and selfish. basically, i believe we both take care of each other’s emotional needs, though i think i’d be just fine without it.

whenever i imagine my ideal future or plan my real one, i see my friends in it but never my immediate family, not even in the background of it. i’ve spent two summers away from home and i barely ever felt the need to text my parents. the first time was so bad my mom complained about it and i had to make a conscious decision to ask them how they’re doing more the second time. i wanna move out so badly. i feel like they’re pulling me back because i have to avoid conflicts and be liked by them. people keep telling me it’s fine i still live with my parents but i NEED to get away. i’m not interested in dating but i’m beginning to entertain the idea of getting together with someone who has their own place (not seriously though).

is it bad that i feel this way? i realize they will be gone one day and i’m gonna miss them but at times it feels like i’m heartless.