What is a sincere unpopular opinion you have about my typology?

ISFJ.

I may have a low pain tolerance. I have been dealing with an external hemorrhoid that has likely enlargened due to unintentional straining in spite of the fact that I have listened to doctors and even bought something called Mayinglong ointment to try and help myself, in addition to a fissure, and have been walking funny but wonder if that may just in part be my anxiety (I do have a diagnosed anxiety disorder) that is leading to me doing so because I anticipate it or imagine it being worse than it actually is, if that makes sense.

I’ve been thinking more lately about whether or not I actually sincerely want to have kids and marry, or if I have just always thought that I wanted to because it’s what you’re taught you’re supposed to do growing up as a woman. My parents, for example, had kids in part because they felt that they were supposed to. I don’t think that this is necessarily uncommon. But especially with this issue coming up, I’m thinking more about how even though it’d be nice to continue on my bloodline, I also want to make sure that I’m taking care of my body, and I know that I would probably not actually make for a good parent. I think back to certain mistakes I made when I was 18-19, and though I’m older now, I just know that I am the kind of person who would end up being a negligent parent without meaning to be (and it doesn’t help that my own parents were negligent.) When you have kids, there are a lot of scary things that can happen - to you as the woman and to the kids.

I am comfortable having/keeping 2009 people on a networking site. I’d be a liar if I said that I didn’t like it, in a way. I know deep down inside that it doesn’t actually mean anything, but it makes me feel nice I suppose. Maybe I am image oriented in a way. I don’t want to do poorly, academically or in life. I do want to be successful even though I don’t always have the energy for it. I have been thinking more recently about how excited I am to sign up for more classes, and about what I want to switch my major to when I switch to a university (well, transfer. Though I have been doing a poor job of actually going ahead and researching the differing options - it’ll end up most likely being psychology or social work, but I know deep down inside that I should probably ask someone who has more expertise and am not even sure that a psychology or social work major is most suitable for me. I’ve never been able to figure out what is most suitable for me. I have been told I am receptive to feedback and good at following directions in addition to being a strong communicator, but I have just never found that one subject or topic that really piques my interest. I’m really not actually very inquisitive at all, and it’s partly why I’m not “smart” even though in middle school (and trust, as an adult I understand that nothing that happened in middle school matters now. I feel silly mentioning it really, was just a kid) I was apparently considered the smartest girl in my grade. I’ve just never had a strong idea of what my longterm goals are. I’ve always kind of felt like as an adult I actually mainly just take things day by day but will also get these bouts of anxiety that have led to me doing things like changing my major from psych to child development (and I can apparently change it back depending on what school I transfer to, which I wish I knew in undergrad, I think I’d have spent less time in community college if I had known) because I realized it’d lead to me getting an associates faster and I realized that I wanted to speed that process up.

I think, based upon my personal experiences, that the average person is terrible, even though I also acknowledge that people aren’t actually as bad as I tend to think of them as being in my mind. I don’t think the average person lacks empathy, for example, and I am realizing that even people who have views that I really disagree with aren’t actually always “bad” even though I wouldn’t want to grow too close to them - I don’t think I could successfully date someone whose politics were the opposite of mine, for example. That may just be more of a moral thing, I’d never really be comfortable with them. Someone who is actively very homophobic, for example, I’d want to stay away from that kind of person for a relationship. This doesn’t necessarily mean that I don’t harbor any views that others may find to be problematic myself, but rather that I’d want to be with someone who I felt understood my take on things a bit more and, if we did have a child, wouldn’t push certain beliefs onto them. This is partly why I think that women who have children with someone without knowing them very well (unless it’s say because a rape occurred. By knowing them very well I mean for at least 3 years, and even that somehow doesn’t feel like long enough) aren’t smart, and are potentially putting themselves in a very dangerous situation.

I am not very mature for someone my age, which I acknowledge. I have noticed that all of my immediate family members seem developmentally delayed in different ways. All three of my immediate family members are violent. The only one I am able to feel somewhat badly for is my brother, because he was clearly neglected.

And even then, in spite of the fact that my understandably developed schizophrenia (he is 26, and was actually picked up by the cops last night - they just took him to a local mental health facility - because he tried to fight an employee at a local store. The fact that he has developed schizophrenia is understandable because an aunt had it, my mother seems to have late onset of it, dad seems to be schizoaffective,) I admit I am starting to realize that it’s just too late in the game for me to help him. I just saw my mother wrap her arms almost around my father’s neck in a strangling motion. She has told him frequently over the last few days that she wants him to die and neither showed empathy for my brother. My family is like a real life sopranos but imagine both of the parents are two terrible people who are against their children (my mother is always threatening to have us all arrested and is not rational enough to understand that it won’t work. She is also extremely abusive. You can tell by her body language and how close she mows to you when she’s screaming that she’s ready to hit you, and with force too.) My brother and dad physically fought each other maybe 2 weeks ago. My parents wonder how it is that they raised someone who seems to just now be aggressive 2najority of the time and can’t focus on anything bat will help him, well look at your damn selves. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if one of my parents has often away with killing someone before. My brother was screaming the other day about wanting to fight my mother (yesterday, before he went on the walk) and I think it’s partly because, even though both of my parents lie about it now, she did abuse him when he was a child. She’s just such an actively horrible person, both are. She raised us around my maternal grandma who she more recently said sexually abused my aunt and I in addition to my maternal aunt who she also sags abused her in that way and who she is now accusing of having trafficked me out of the blue. My father is so stupid, I think he is developmentally delayed, that in taking a look at their dynamic now (though this isn’t to downplay his role, he absolutely abused my brother as well and I noticed his abuse towards brother before noticing hers as a child) I’m almost convinced that even just subconsciously she chose to date him because she knew he wasn’t the type who was going to stop her from hitting my brother.

I have not split away from the family and gone off to live on my own yet, as I am trying to save as much money as I can while living here. I hit my $50.2k goal the other day. This hotel is being paid off by a company for veterans due to my father’s service, and I admit that even though I have come to feel that it is not worth it due to the stress my mother causes (I suspect the frequent McDonald’s caused my rectal pain) I also figured we may as well take advantage of it for now up until May. I am hesitant to move into housing with them, however, because I have witnessed the same behavior from my mother that got us kicked out of the hotel in the first place.

I have such complicated feelings about romantic relationships. When I was in high school, I wanted to be in one so very badly. As someone who is now approaching 21, I am starting to realize that I just see to have very complicated feelings about romantic relationships. I was recently asked out by yet another uber or Lyft driver of mine (don’t remember which, this has happened a few times) and he seemed to really pursue me, was direct about wanting to date me (but I think that’s more of an attraction thing and didn’t like the fact that his desire I guess to date me seemed to override his concern about the physical health troubles I’ve recently had. Strikes me as almost a bit selfish.) I sometimes wonder about love, about marriage, about how I’d feel if I really did meet the one. But I also feel like I have too many personal issues and feel like I’d need something really specific to have a relationship that worked out. The end goal would of course be marriage but even that could eventually end. It’s weird because I used to be obsessed with the idea of dating but now that I’m approached by men more often I actually kind of want to be single. I want to know myself before dating. I remember the guy I crushed on in 9th grade even though he’d ranked me a little below average, but it’s funny because even though I was so fixated on him for a good year, as an adult I just don’t know what I was thinking. I’d always thought that that crush was going to leave some huge psychological impact, but no. Now that I’m older, I just regret liking him for as long as I did, and I feel like I dodged a huge bullet. In adulthood, I recognize that I have more options, but right now I don’t want them. I need to figure out how to be a real adult first/adjust to life as an adult before I date again. It’s just funny/interesting being an adult and realizing that, well, you may never get that fairytale romance. I have worked on bettering my communication skills over the years, and I was actually more recently ultimately honest with the man who was really pursuing me (he wasn’t unattractive, it was just moreso circumstances) after initially not responding - not because I felt I owed it to him, but because I didn’t want to be dishonest and I felt it was most polite: “Hi. I’m sorry for not responding. You are sweet and I appreciate you having given me a ride home, but I wanted to communicate that I don’t think I’m ready to date right now.” I did respond like that even though I was in pain/not feeling well.

I allow myself to “look poor” and don’t put a significant amount of effort into my presentation of myself other than changing my hairstyles/hair colors for fun every few months (which I started doing in Oct 2025,) and getting new dresses whenever I can.

I have always maintained strong/high grades, but unlike some people I recognize this does not mean that I am “smart,” it simply means that I am consistent. I have a 3.93 in community college, and in middle school I talked so frequently about my desire to go to a top college that it bothered my former best friend (who I actually sincerely do think was a bit jealous of me in hindsight. This doesn’t mean I’m better than anyone, but what you’ll realize as you grow older is that people can be jealous of you for any reason, however irrational. In high school I was briefly quite jealous of girls who’d had guys that had big crushes on them, and as an adult it’s funny because I… don’t care anymore. At some point you just realize that there’s a lot more to life than relationships and that if and when something is meant to happen, it will happen.) After feeling a great deal of stress over quarantine, I changed my mind and decided to start at community college. That is of course what I actually ended up doing, and I don’t think it was a bad choice, necessarily. I do think that attending a 4-year would have forced me to really hone in more on my education instead of focusing on working at the school I used to work at and saving $, but I’m not necessarily unhappy about where I am now. I am \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*technically\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* behind some of my peers but have been able to save $ and feel like it was just a matter of me needing time to figure things out for myself, if that makes sense. I think that going to a 4-year straight out of high school is wise if you really know what you want to do, and I have never really known what I wanted to do as much as I’d have liked to.

I do enjoy reading, and I would enjoy having someone who I could discuss my books with, even though my takes on those books may not always be the most “intelligent:” I admittedly don’t always finish the books I am reading in a timely manner, and may become distracted by other things. I would actually of course be willing to improve upon something if a partner of mine wanted for me to and communicated this like a mature adult.

I am not very mature for someone my age, which I acknowledge. I have noticed that all of my immediate family members seem developmentally delayed in different ways. All three of my immediate family members are violent. The only one I am able to feel somewhat badly for is my brother, because he was clearly neglected.

And even then, in spite of the fact that my brother has \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\understandably developed schizophrenia (he is 26, and was actually picked up by the cops last night - they just took him to a local mental health facility - because he tried to fight an employee at a local store. The fact that he has developed schizophrenia is understandable because an aunt had it, my mother seems to have late onset of it, dad seems to be schizoaffective,) I admit I am starting to realize that it’s just too late in the game for me to help him. I just saw my mother wrap her arms almost around my father’s neck in a strangling motion. She has told him frequently over the last few days that she wants him to die and neither showed empathy for my brother. My family is like a real life sopranos but imagine both of the parents are two terrible people who are against their children (my mother is always threatening to have us all arrested and is not rational enough to understand that it won’t work. She is also extremely abusive. You can tell by her body language and how close she mows to you when she’s screaming that she’s ready to hit you, and with force too.) My brother and dad physically fought each other maybe 2 weeks ago. My parents wonder how it is that they raised someone who seems to just now be aggressive 2najority of the time and can’t focus on anything bat will help him, well look at your damn selves. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if one of my parents has often away with killing someone before. My brother was screaming the other day about wanting to fight my mother (yesterday, before he went on the walk) and I think it’s partly because, even though both of my parents lie about it now, she did abuse him when he was a child. She’s just such an actively horrible person, both are. She raised us around my maternal grandma who she more recently said sexually abused my aunt and I in addition to my maternal aunt who she also sags abused her in that way and who she is now accusing of having trafficked me out of the blue. My father is so stupid, I think he is developmentally delayed, that in taking a look at their dynamic now (though this isn’t to downplay his role, he absolutely abused my brother as well and I noticed his abuse towards brother before noticing hers as a child) I’m almost convinced that even just subconsciously she chose to date him because she knew he wasn’t the type who was going to stop her from hitting my brother.

I allow myself to “look poor” and don’t put a significant amount of effort into my presentation of myself other than changing my hairstyles/hair colors for fun every few months (which I started doing in Oct 2025,) and getting new dresses whenever I can.

I had actually considered going for a second associates degree in something different after I finish my degree at the end of this year - something more lucrative - but I imagine that going ahead and getting a bachelors in something will pay off more in the longrun. I do have to admit that now that I am older, especially seeing how much trouble my mother has caused (I may not have explicitly mentioned this here, but she is the reason why we are in the hotel right now. She was screaming constantly when we were still living in the apartment complex I grew up in. I’ve gotten used to this hotel more quickly than I expected myself to, and the building manager did cite her as the reason as to why we can’t live there anymore. I was advised multiple times to call services on her, but admit I didn’t, in part because my aunt who she dislikes so much discouraged me from doing it - though as I am honestly starting to realize how her poor behavior has impacted me, and yes even though I know this is wrong I admit I am most concerned about myself first and my brother second, though seeing how old he is I’m finding that I’m finally starting to distance myself from the idea of helping him so much and realizing that as horrific as his upbringing was he’ll have to put in work to help himself - in life that’s really what a person must do at the end of the day, help themselves - and have started to regret not just calling services on her as I think it would have decreased my pain and overall stress.) I partly don’t live on my own yet because I suppose that I’m just afraid to. I recognize that I am surely developmentally delayed myself in the way I see my parents and brother clearly are due to the trauma of brother’s breakdown when I was a new 14 - I still fave a graduation speech that got me the most applause, though to be fair my mic was the only one that didn’t go out - and am holding onto my childhood in some ways, to my family. This is partly why I don’t make my own meals and don’t want to live by myself, even though I know I will likely just have to suck it up and do it in a few months. Because I’m afraid and in a lot of ways I feel like my parents didn’t prepare me.

I do enjoy reading, and I would enjoy having someone who I could discuss my books with, even though my takes on those books may not always be the most “intelligent:” I admittedly don’t always finish the books I am reading in a timely manner, and may become distracted by other things. I would actually of course be willing to improve upon something if a partner of mine wanted for me to and communicated this like a mature adult.

I decided out of the blue today to reach out to someone who has helped/supported me in the past. I sincerely did want to connect with them again. They pointed out (not rudely of course) that I tend to seem quite enthusiastic, at least when I’m messaging suppose. BI write like this: “Thank you!! It’s always just a pleasure to play around with the colors! I had been dying to try the 350 this time around! Parent at work wants to see what I may look like as a blonde haha. It’s a fun form of self expression! Do you tend to do your hair yourself?” And “The first time I had braids, they were the brunette/blonde ones (stylist had actually chosen the colors, I think that she has a great eye for what shades work well with a person’s skin tone and features.) The second style pictured was bohemian, which was a bit of a hassle after 2 weeks, but got me the second largest amount of compliments - and the red/blonde set of box braids have actually gotten me the most in person compliments so far, which admittedly surprises me because I think people tend to prefer straighter looking hair on black women” and “Ah I see what you mean yes, I think you’re right about that, they will typically have you choose a specific age range (I’ve been to therapy myself before, a bit of a stigma but I think that it’s always just healthy tbh.) This is really interesting to hear about because I actually didn’t know a ton about what nurse practitioners do! I was always under the impression that their role description was similar to that of a doctor. I also think that your plan of working as an RN for a few years is a great idea (I’ve actually \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*considered\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* going into nursing before, but decided it wasn’t for me. I wanted to be one real bad in high school, but I have a bit of a vomiting phobia, and I also don’t think I have quick enough reflexes. I think that nursing will work wonderfully for you. I would hate writing code too 😂” I had also sent her pictures of my new styles.

I was smiling and making an effort to behave normally in the doctor’s office today, checking in with the doctor and nurse respectively to ask how they are. I wore my bonnet t the doctor’s office but actually took it off after I saw a parent from the school I used to work at (she was very sweet.) I know that some say it is an embarrassment to wear a bonnet in public, but I tend to bypass that social rule often.

Here is a little bit of a background for me: I do have work experience. I started out working at a preschool for a little over a year. I was 18-19 then, but I recognize in hindsight that I was not “great” at it and made a multitude of mistakes. I remember mainly that I had fun with the kids, which is what I do when I babysit - I have successfully babysat a 6-year old (almost 7, I will actually be attending her birthday party in about two weeks. I am a family friend as well at this point) for what has now been a year and a half. I also have experience as a behavior technician with differing age groups/populations. I have had cases that worked well for me and cases that did not in general when working with individuals on the spectrum, and I do understand Applied Behavior Analysis in spite of the fact that I am not a registered behavior technician. I know that above all else, what I really want to do is help other people. I am frugal and am intent on saving, but I also really just want to serve my community in any way I can. I am receptive to feedback and I place strong emphasis on healthy, effective communication. I’d even like to learn about different communication styles. I actually used to struggle more with communication myself but I have really discovered that it is just the best way of maintaining healthy relationships and reducing conflict. I want for people to feel like they can talk to me. I’ve been asked if I see myself getting a teaching credential, I would want to for K-3, sure. I know that I don’t want to teach preschool.

I do know, as someone who has ABA experience, that I don’t want to become a BCBA (Board Certified Behavior Analyst) in the longterm either. Part of the issue with the idea of obtaining a second associates degree in a more lucrative field is that I think that if I were going to plan to do that in January 2027, I would need to have a good idea of what field I wanted that associates degree to be in, and I don’t think I’m going to know by that point. I do think that I could continue to maintain a strong GPA, but I don’t know.

If asked whether or not I’d be open to getting a masters degree later on, the answer is yes. If I really found material I was learning interesting and was passionate about a topic, I’d be happy to obtain a masters degree. I of course will not be happy to take out loads of money to do so, but I’ll still be glad to get one if it furthers my earning potential or my overall chances of success.

I know that if I end up going for Psychology I will have to take a lot of statistics courses and I’m not crazy about statistics. At all, actually. I have already taken one stats class in my undergrad and even then I chose to take the support course.

If asked whether or not I think I want to become a therapist or would make for a good one, my answer would be no. I was actually explaining to someone I wanted to reconnect with earlier tonight that I feel like as a therapist, you really have the lives of others in your hands, and I think that, especially as someone who deals with depression and anxiety, that would be a lot for me. I can’t imagine having a patient who killed themselves. However, this doesn’t mean that I’m incapable of being rational nor that I am unable to handle it when there is a lot going on around me. Especially observing what has been happening with my family, I do feel with sincerity that there should be more resources for those who are unhoused or at risk of being unhoused - I was very disappointed when I saw that there seemed to be so few resources and I really wish there were more that could be done for those like my brother who have schizophrenia as well. I have noticed that it seems like there are so few resources for schizophrenic people, for those who may not be stable enough to live independently. I do feel that those people deserve more care and compassion than they tend to receive, and I do wish that the state of California had automatic housing or some kind of program for those who may be too unwell mentally to really take care of themselves (and yes, the thought does occur to me that someone would have to fund this.)

I have two schools that I am primarily eyeing for transfer but I need to do more research before making a more definitive decision. I remember my community college counselor had said San Fran state will be more expensive, which is important to be mindful of. I could also always go out of state, but I feel like that’d be a bigger change/leap that I’m not so sure I’m willing to make.

I am the kind of person who has a good idea of what I don’t want to do. I know that I don’t want to go into nursing or cosmetology. I used to want to be a nurse badly in high school, but now that I’m older I realize that I don’t think I’d like being surrounded by the bodily fluids daily, don’t want someone else’s life in my hands, have emetophobia and am probably just not passionate about it. Concerning cosmetology, I am not even good at washing my own 4c hair, and I am only good with mascara. Nursing programs at local community colleges are also impacted/difficult to get into, but I’m also not passionate about it so I already know I’ll end up in neither.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve just kind of started to naturally “forgive” some of the people who angered me in high school. As I had mentioned above, I had poor communication skills in high school, and was actually blocked by a few different people because of it (though I must note that I don’t think all of those situations were necessarily ones I was solely responsible for, which I recall the therapist I had seen at the time agreed upon when I described some of the situations to her - it’s kind of like I’d said, the average person doesn’t have good morals. Though I don’t really feel as though I have good morals either.) It’s partly about the passage of time, and partly about maturing and recognizing that we were, like I’d mentioned, really just kids. As I near 21, I don’t feel like I’m the same person I was in high school, and I think that that’s perfectly normal in a lot of ways.

After taking a look at what is offered for a social work major and a psychology major in terms of coursework, i am leaning towards social work, in part because I am honestly too lazy to really want to handle the heavy math involved in psychology but also because the coursework doesn’t read as terribly interesting to me. If I major in it, I suspect that I’ll grow bore, but I’m also afraid of going into something that I feel will be “too hard.” The psych coursework really isn’t looking so intriguing to me but if I do go for the social work bachelors, I already know I’ll have to get a masters afterwards. After reading the description of a case manager, I found i think I actually like the idea of becoming one eventually. After thinking about it some more today, I think that I will go in for a bachelors in social work. It actually honestly is too early for me to be thinking about masters degree programs.

I was not afraid from Aug-Oct 2025 when a man who admitted he’d been to jail once (after googling him I learned he’d actually been arrested 32 times) and continued to accept car rides from him. He’d been to jail for domestic violence. He wanted very much to have a child with me, said I seemed maternal from his perspective, but I always knew dating him and having his child would be a bad idea. I never did give in.

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