If I've completely given up and I'm a nuisance to be around, why is it so wrong to die?

I've seen 3 therapists at this point, I quit going a few months ago because it was awful. I actually had some hope, some desire to change and have a better life before I started therapy. Now, I believe there is nobody who will ever understand me, and that talking to people is a waste of time and only makes everyone involved more upset. I no longer want to change. I don't want to be happy. I know I could have a good future if I tried, but that's the problem, I don't want to try anymore. Effort is exhausting, I just want to lay in bed forever. Everyone says that it's ok to not be productive, that they value you for you, and it's most important to just stay alive. But who actually wants to pay for me to lay around doing nothing for the rest of my life? Nobody does. And anyway, just being around me ruins people's moods, just by being my normal, depressed self. So, why can't I just die? Why is that so wrong?

Also, I literally don't have a choice. Without the right to die, the right to live is actually the obligation to live. Maybe, if I actually had a real, safe, legal option to exit life, MAYBE I would choose to stay alive, but I don't have that choice, so I will never know, so I only have my experience to go off of, which is that I want to die. Obviously I don't crave death itself, I just want to not exist anymore, and death is the only way to achieve that. People say that it's wrong to commit suicide because of the possibility of things changing, it would be wrong to take that away from your future self. But my future self doesn't exist yet. Why is she more important than the me that exists RIGHT NOW? I don't care about future me.