This year might be the year I end things.

I don't even know where to start, this year has been insanely ass since the start,Please bare with me throughout the whole rant/vent, I'm a 16F, and idk what to do, I've been experiencing childhood problems for years but I can't even get professional help because of my psychotic mum and granny, my real dad left me after birth and I have a USELESS stepdad and a problematic family. so when I mean my parents I mean my granny and mum, so this year, i started 11th grade. which is apparently the hardest grade and the grade for when College/University will be looking at my report so they can see if they can accept me or not, and God, after 3 weeks after school opened one of my friends nearly committed, and it was my first time experiencing that. His parent are in the same religion as mine and the thing is he came out, and he didn't get accepted. I understood how he felt. I HATE my religion it took all of my childhood and made my parents the psychotic freaks they r now. besides tht, other stupid home problems have been happening too and ive been severely slacking off at school. Like..i Missed 2 big projects tht were due, failed 4-7 tests, and js haven't been doing any classwork at all. I didn't get my term report yet but oh when I do I'm probably gonna experience a living hell.my teachers have noticed my changed behavior from being a good dedicated student to a...well what i am now, but instead of helping they threatened me, telling me that I'll get Detention or they will phone my parents. I also tried to go talk to my school counselor but GOD she's useless. it's literally the 3rd time tht she hasn't called me back for another appointment during school times when I've asked to speak with her, and I hate begging I hate chasing, it makes me feel weak if yall get what I'm saying. and then WW3 happened. I had huge dreams of finishing school and visiting America but thts never going to happen now, Including the whole ICE situation too, I js feel so hopeless, like..everything I've been waiting for is going to waste. I grew up not able to express myself at all as a creative person and it js bothered me sm!? I grew up indoors and I haven't had proper human connection or communication at all!?(BARELY went out, never had birthday parties or any sleepover). I feel like a loser and I've realized that I'm no one's first option when it comes to my friends and alot of people hate me for who I am at school too(I sometimes tend to get too loud or chatty, I'm very weird appearantly.)I hate everything about me. I envy people who live better than me, I can't help but js grief on the past, present and future.. it's all too much for me. I'm on school break rn and I've been HORRIBLE. no one has texted me at all I've been starving myself and js playing games like a pathetic person. I want to go out and get a small job but my mum won't ever allow me to even step foot out. my family's too busy for me and it sucks to be the only kid too. no one wants me and no one cares to listen. I've been trying to reach out but No one listens..at all. I'm also 100% convinced tht I'm probably gonna become a nothing.I've never went a day w out thinking of dying or running away from home, or trying out drugs,alcohol,smoking vape/cigarette or purposely even selling my own b0dy js for the feeling of some type of human connection.I have so much to tell and rant about but I don't want to bore people. I js needed to get this out, I want atleast someone to care out here in this world.