Since retirement, my mom's become a lot more paranoid, and I can't say anything to help.

It's mostly related to tech. For example, if a website changes its UI, she'll believe she was hacked. The "dark web" is something she brings up more often than someone normally would. She's always insisting her computer is infected with a virus.

Someone recently texted my number claiming to be an old coworker (my mother has a distinct first name and wouldn't be hard to find). They revealed information only a coworker would know (workplace and work year from 40 years ago), her name, and even included a photo of all the coworkers together. They said that as they were in their 70s they were reflecting on life and wondering how people who were important to them earlier in life were doing. My mom said to not engage because it wasn't work the risk.

She's always been a bit of a helicopter parent, for example sheltering me from information frequently. And, she's always been bad with technology, and just a tad distrusting. Despite that, she's a loving person, but it breaks my heart to see how anxious she's become.

In an almost contradictory way, she's the embodiment of toxic positivity, seeing the world as amazing and having difficulty accepting my more cynical viewpoints. Not agreeing with them, but just processing them seems to be outside her capability.

She said she was going to get a part-time job after she retired, just to say busy. She can't handle being idle and always needs to be doing something. But....that never happened. My dad's been the same grumpy guy since he retired, and she ended up staying at home all the time so she could basically be his on-call garage helper for when he needs someone to hold a flashlight.

I'm pretty sure she doesn't have early-stage dementia since I don't see any of the symptoms in her. Her cognition seems to be fine, she's just...so scared of the world, while also seemingly having no trouble seeing the world as amazing.

It's like retirement cranked her crazy dial up a few notches.

One of the most frustrating things, too...I can't help. She doesn't seem to trust me. She'll trust her husband, and she'll trust the husband of my dad's cousin to help with her computer. But if I try to offer tech advice, or some sort of "this isn't an issue," she'll have none of it. I don't have any sort of criminal history or otherwise that might reasonably breed distrust with her, so I'm genuinely wondering if it's some sort of "my kid is still a kid and there's no way she knows more than me."

Or...I have no idea. She doesn't open up, to anyone. I once called my aunt (who is like a second mother) to ask if she knows what's going on between my parents. She said that she and and the other sister have had conversations about how my mother doesn't really talk to either of them about how she's feeling, and it's always surface-level pleasantries.