One of my biggest insecurities, a secret that I can hardly share with anyone, is that I want to do SW or be a stripper and I am so jealous of those.

Obviously I am talking about those who live in the USA or other countries where their rights are most likely respected and they are not trafficked minors, etc. It is not all pink I suppose. I am also influenceable, but when I see a stripper on Instagram seeming so confident, pretty, doing shows in Las Vegas and other good places and cities, and bringing in buck after buck of money, I just feel so jealous. There is an athletic, hustling, communication side to this job, but beauty and the physique play a big part, and I know it is bad but I just feel I have so much love to give but to no one, and I feel like it may be a way, and just men are so deprived, or I don't know, that they may accept and pay for anything, and me, I could give some kind of love and feel that I have a purpose and am desired. It is so weird, I feel bad for that because it is not an easy job and I feel bad for romanticizing it, but anyway.