Having my first ADHD assessment interview tomorrow - not a question, just stressing out

I’m self conscious about how often I’ve been posting here so I’m really sorry. I have my first ADHD assessment tomorrow (it was booked today so almost no time at all to think about it) so I’m just overthinking some things.

I’m additionally getting assessed for ASD, also by Health Harmonie Minds, but they say they’ll need a couple more weeks to sort out their paperwork as they’re a little bit behind the ADHD crew.

I am honestly super nervous. I have no idea what to expect and because I was offered the appointment so fast, I’ve had zero time to prepare.

The welcome letter says the first interview will be “no longer than 60 mins” and yet my appointment text tells me it’s schedule for 90 mins. Thats already throwing me off that these numbers don’t match. My optimistic brain is telling me maybe they’re scrapping the second interview altogether and they’ll offer me a diagnosis at the end of the 90 mins (or tell me I don’t need one as that’s always an option. These are assessments after all, not sure things).

Doing the ADHD and the ASD assessments separately has been a real surprise and a huge disappointment. I’ve read on here about people getting a combined assessment and I am so jealous. If the assessment process goes exactly as they describe in their welcome letters, I will be doing 4 separate interviews for the two different conditions. I’m ready to put money on the fact that there will be a decent amount of crying and that is SO many conversations about my childhood.

My mum will need to be an informant for both and I’m worried the differences in the conditions will confuse her when they ask her questions or she’ll fail to understand where the overlap is. I have no idea if the clinician leads the session with a set of specific questions or if the informant is more in charge of offering up information of their own accord. Im also just trying to muster up the emotional energy of these multiple deeply emotional and difficult conversations happening back to back over the course of the next several weeks before i get any proper verdicts.

I’m not even sure what I’m trying to achieve with this post, I have just been insanely distracted by the news of this appointment all day and while I am ECSTATIC about how quickly the ADHD team have dealt with me, I just wish I know what was facing me tomorrow - why don’t the lengths of the appointments match? It’s bugging me so much. What if I’m suspicious of the clinician (I struggle to trust medical people easily and it took a year for me to fully trust my therapist). What if I waste too much time talking about stuff that isn’t important and they don’t stop me and then I waste the entire 90 minutes?

I’m just so nervous and maybe I just want to be told it’ll be okay and I’ll answer all the questions exactly as I’m supposed to and the clinician won’t be confused by any of my answers or annoyed at me or think I wasted his time and the process will just make sense all round. I also hope they take note that I am being assessed for both conditions at once, just separately.

So sorry for the silly rant. I will actually be so relieved when the diagnosis part of this is over so I can try to get back to a life where I’m not checking my email every five mins for news or second guessing what I’ll be asked at every stage of the process, trying to remember what symptoms I need to remember to talk about for each different assessment - that awkward childhood memory that plagues me to this day, was that an ADHD moment or an autistic moment? I don’t even know 100% if I have either so why am I even overthinking this.

Anyway, thanks for listening friends.