It’s about abuse (I think)

(I’ll try my best to keep this short)

Me and my siblings are growing up in an African home and based off of all of the Afro comedies and things people have said I’m aware of the fact that corporal parenting is common in these kinds of families so I don’t even know if this is really abuse or I’m just being dramatic anymore (I am emotionally sensitive after all).

And even if it it’s abuse, I don’t know what to do.

And yes, I told a teacher. I don’t think I’ll be doing so again.

I don’t know how to explain it so.. are some things I wrote down back then up until now:

Recording stuffs!

(Most of my quotations of my parent’s words were said in another language so may be a bit off because English isn’t their first language.)

I have two little brothers

-My mom told M that in the Bible, God said to beat and insult your children when they are being disobedient else they go to hell.

My dad has been insulting my brothers whenever he spots them, calling them lazy or comparing them to things in his language while keeping some unsettling wide eyed gaze on them. If they talk back? His attitude gets a bit more belligerent and they either get a "you’re taking to me like that? What is wrong with you? Are you *crazy*?" As he leans in with a threatening, wide-eyed gaze. Or they get hit on the head (often on the face or anywhere he can reach) while he insults them in his language.

I told my mom to talk to my dad since he kicked my little brother on the face and laughed at and mocked him when he cried (alleged from my little brother) and my mom said, "..why should your little brother be crying anyway?" Then told me the same old "the lord says to let your master do evil and that he will take care of it" and “he’s still your dad, you can’t get another one so be thankful with what you have." To me? She looked shaken. Just as she always did when I confronted her about my dad’s behavior as she defended him. The only time she seems to take our side is when she has been arguing with him. Which they do so openly in front of us.

(Maybe I’m over reacting?? I don’t know this stuff is sadly so common in African homes🫩)

"if you’re going to keep talking back to me I’m gonna slap you" said by my dad after randomly telling my brother to go do work for hours since he is working and he said “the only thing you know how to do in your life is playing." twice.

just now my brother came to me, teary eyed and annoyed, saying that my dad is now dividing their room with some room divider, saying he doesn’t care how they feel because he wants to "see who is dirtier" and he is ignoring everything they say

(my dad was complaining about them eating a lot and insulting them in his language, saying they aren’t capable of doing anything)

my father is currently yelling at my brother and saying insults in his language. Why? Because he can’t write fast (and because he got a bad grade from a teacher who is too harsh— she gave him a low score due to his lack of participation and his hand writing). But my brother may be autistic, my dad is aware of that too yet he always insults my brother for his traits.. he just called him garbage and trash

My dad told my brother he’s ruining the life of our youngest brother, saying it’s why he wanted to separate the two from each other.

My dad just hit my brother multiple times (I heard it). Then I think he pushed him based on what I’ve heard while yelling at him to go get a paper so he can give him work to do.

My dad is currently questioning my brother with some kind of agressive tone as if he’s in some interrogation room for killing someone (over a book) he’s saying he’s gonna slap my brother if he found out he was lying about reading a book and said “I don’t deal with evil children who are always shaming me in front of people." Many times. 🫩

“I’m gonna slap you and I’m gonna keep mistreating you right here and I mean it, I swear. You hear me? If she ever says something in contrast of what you said, the evil in your head that’s making you incapable of acting like a normal child? I’ll remove it, and destroy it." That’s what my dad said just now.

I’m pretty sure I heard my dad slap my brother for sleeping instead of doing the work he was given by my dad to do.

I’m in my room starving after a long workout all because I wanna avoid my dad🫩 though I don’t believe he’ll really do anything to me if I get out of my room, there still is a possibility. I feel very lightheaded now and I’m only eating the cereal I saved in my room to eat in a few days if I craved it.. but it isn’t actual food.

I was in my room, and I heard my dad yelling at my brothers to come. They ignored him, I would too. I wouldn’t wanna see him at all when he’s yelling like that.

My dad then said he was going to move one of them somewhere uncomfortable and said he doesn’t need a window and that’s what he deserves because he doesn’t mean anything in this house. While he laughed.

He yelled for someone to bring the stick he hits my brothers with, even called me, I ignored him. I’d never do that.

My dad aggressively asked my brother about his homework then told him to go get his homework, then I heard him hitting him with papers while he said something about not liking the way my brother is reacting to his tone.

“You’re not even gonna be 17 before I chase you from this house. When you’re gonna taste outside, you’ll know that you are lucky here." That’s what my dad said (GOSH I don’t like him.)

My dad is beating my brother (at least he’s constantly hitting him) and yelling at him.

(My heart is speeding up a little and I’m tearing up as I’m writing this. Then again, I’m sensitive and I have anxiety- could’ve been why.)

recently

My dad JUST got home (literally) and instantly yelled at my brothers to come to the living room. Then he asked them who left his charger in a certain area on the ground. Both of my brothers said it wasn’t them so he said he’d beat the both of them up. And he began with my smallest brother who began to cry. Then I stepped in and told him that they likely didn’t. Because my brothers told him to ask my mom he angrily left and said he’ll ask my mom.

He’s likely taking his anger out on them because my mom somewhat confronted him about his behavior, I heard him angrily but quietly blaming her for speaking up and saying she ruins everything. He gets so terribly angry whenever someone stops him while he’s yelling at, hitting, or insulting anyone). And those aren’t the worst things he’s ever said to her. My mom knows so too.

(My brother told me that as my dad hit him he squeezed his arm harshly)

I remember a time when my mom and dad argued and kept me up late because I got involved since my dad asked me to tell him if I really said that his actions were negative since my mom mentioned it. As soon as I nodded I was dragged into listening to them argue for hours late into the night. My dad said something very telling. He basically said he doesn’t hit my mom because people here would punish him for it, and that many people do but he doesn’t because of that… I instantly told him that shouldn’t even be considered an option. Hitting your wife is just a no-no. And I nodded and said that he knew twice.

…honestly those words didn’t even surprise me.

His father was abusive towards him as my mom told me. We all want him to go to therapy/ marriage therapy but he keeps saying he doesn’t want to or says he’ll go to a priest instead (🫩).