In a dark spot and wanna know what to do.

I’m not sure if this is the right sub but if u can at least give some advice that would be nice.

My story is i had a pocd fantasy I guess?? . In which I was fantasizing of a girl I use to talk to in high school idk what grade this was but I thought about her. Then I starting thinking about her age and how young she was in my fantasy… I thought about me being older and being my current age in real life. This turned me on. I don’t think I completed to this thought but I feel like I had this fantasy before. I’m not sure if it’s a power dynamic , I’m not sure if I thought of this on purpose tbh but I feel awful. I started to randomly think about this on Sunday and I had a pit in my stomach. It’s Thursday now and I just feel awful and have no one to talk to.My question is about if this is pocd or there’s genuinely something wrong that isn’t ocd. And if it’s pocd related how do I go about this. I’m scared this will make me a monster. I saw a lot of posts on how intrusive thoughts come on during private times but the thoughts them selfs aren’t enjoyable. Even tho later I found them disgusting it’s the fact that I even felt something for those thoughts. I feel disgusted for even writing that.