ChubbyFIREd as of today!

I did it!

Yesterday was my last day at work. 42F, 20 years of hyperproductive working.

It feels like diving off a cliff into a big beautiful, vast and scary ocean of my future and endless possibilities.

What's been the most surprising about the last 24 hours is how sad I'm feeling about leaving work. And how anxious I feel. I am skilled at compartmentalization. I was expecting and looking forward to feeling the way you feel when you start a vacation or some kind of break, but sadness and anxiety (separation anxiety?) are dominating my inner world. It's catching me off guard. In a lot of ways it makes sense I would be feeling this way. I'm guessing not knowing when the vacation ends is causing some of the discomfort.

This morning I made myself a cup of earl grey, journaled, wrote down todos to reduce my cognitive load. I enjoyed the sunrise. Enjoyed a breakfast sandwich my husband made for me. I took a reference call. I scheduled my first ever pilates class. I started playing a video game (Control). I ate lunch. I took a nap. and now I'm here. I feel really, really tired and sluggish.

In a few hours I'll go for a nice long walk with my husband and enjoy the sunset across the pacific ocean.

There are many practical things I could be doing and are on my list but I am intentionally avoiding. I'm trying to give myself permission to be lazy for the next ~5 days until our celebration trip.

Any words of wisdom or advice for me as I navigate this transition?