Not sure if this is the lowerst point of my life. Hopefully a turning point

I spent the whole week not able to do anything. Didn‘t go to work. I have no friends. In fact, I am breaking up officially or inofficially with those who hurt me, even unpurposefully. What can I do? I have nightmares and wake up crying. They are not treating me well. Also breaking up with people I used to "date". No not anymore. I am cleaning up my life. Not sure if I want to give up the career that I built. I know I can do it but I am just so tired. I feel so ugly and unworthy like really WTF.

I knew I shouldn‘t have done it but I checked out the new gf of someone I obssesed about for the longest time. She is so pretty. And she‘s that type of girl that is effortless pretty. Also she is more successful than me. I feel so so so shameful that I thought my crush would be remotely interested in someone like me. It‘s hard for me to be pretty as I was just not born this way. My only friend keeps telling me that I look great. But I don‘t. This is not main girl energy and I never was the main girl. I did all the manifesting and hard word etc etc to get where I am. And I am just tired. I know we should talk positive about ourselves. I just hate myself so much. Really trying to keep my head up. And I know I will look back one day and think: What a lesson. Right?