I don’t know why I feel this way anymore

I don’t really know why I’m posting this, I guess I just need to say it somewhere.

I’m in my early 30s, I have a family, a life that looks “good” from the outside… but lately I just feel off. Like I’m constantly tired in a way sleep doesn’t fix.

I love my kids more than anything, but I feel like I’ve slowly disappeared into being “mom” and I don’t know how to find myself again without feeling guilty. Every time I try to take a moment for myself, there’s something else that needs me.

My relationship isn’t bad… we don’t fight or anything. But it also doesn’t feel close anymore. We just kind of exist next to each other most days. I miss feeling seen, or even just having a real conversation that isn’t about schedules or responsibilities.

And then there’s this constant voice in my head telling me I should be grateful, that other people have it harder, that I have no reason to feel like this. Which just makes me feel worse for even thinking it.

I don’t feel like I have anyone I can really talk to about this without sounding ungrateful or dramatic.

Has anyone else felt like this? Like you’re doing everything you’re supposed to, but still feel kind of lost?