(20) M Possibly Bi-Curious, not sure if or how to explore it

Before I dive in, some quick context: I'm a 20-year-old guy in a happy long-term monogamous relationship with a bisexual woman. She's never had any same-sex physical experiences. I've always been aroused strictly through a heterosexual lens and haven't felt any strong sexual curiosity toward men before. That said, I'm not opposed to exploring the idea; I just haven't had any real draw to it until recently.

I'm recovering from years of pretty heavy hypersexuality (mostly excessive masturbation as a teen). I've grown a lot since then, and I'm finally at a point where I'm confident enough to reintroduce healthy sexual exploration as an adult. My partner and I are fully monogamous when it comes to actual sexual encounters with others, but we're both comfortable with solo masturbation and porn.

The problem is my old porn habits were pretty unhealthy, built on poor early exposure and chasing whatever the mainstream industry pushed. I've been trying to move away from that and find more grounded, realistic, positive content instead. Lately I've been getting more turned on by slower, real-life-feeling scenarios rather than fast-paced over-the-top stuff. This whole shift has me questioning my sexuality a bit more.

When I see men kissing or being sexual with each other, I don't feel attraction or disgust; it just feels neutral, like something I don't personally connect with. But that neutrality doesn't feel like a clear answer to me. A lot of my past masturbation has been very analytical (chasing the dopamine hit), and it's honestly dulled my personal pleasure over time.

Lately, as my brain has matured and I'm trying to make my sexuality feel more personal, I've started wondering about bisexuality and whether there's some untouched curiosity there. One thing that stands out is my strong preference for large penises in porn. I think part of it comes from familiarity (I have one myself), but I also notice I get drawn to them as objects tied to sexual pleasure in general, not necessarily because I want to be with a man.

What really sparked the questioning happened yesterday while modding a video game. I was already aroused from a bunch of female character models, then I saw a male character in a thin fishnet speedo with a giant, flaccid penis. I kept feeling fascinated by it even after seeing similar skins. I wasn't specifically attracted to him, but the visual stuck with me and kept my arousal going. It felt more like admiring the image and imagining something similar with my own body rather than wanting a guy. Still, it left me confused and curious enough to want to explore a little.

The big question for me is: Am I just chasing novelty because my old hypersexual habits aren't hitting the same anymore, or is this a valid, healthy way to experiment with my sexuality? I'm open to testing the waters through porn, but mainstream stuff feels too extreme or not niche enough for slow, careful exploration. I want to start very mild and amateur — nothing full-on male-on-male, and I'm 100% turned off by any anal/backdoor play regardless of gender.

I'm thinking more along the lines of soft bi-curious content to see if it does anything for me. Any recommendations for categories, sites, or specific types of slower, more realistic porn that could help me test this safely? If it turns out it's not for me, no big deal; I can just stop and move on with more clarity.

Any advice on how to approach this would be really appreciated!