My little TwinkleBelles seems to be doing fine now. She's raising a big ruckus about the position of the blanket on the sofa...

... Enormous depression has caused me to stay in bed until 5:00 this afternoon.  I can't seem to shake it but I have to get up and get showered and clean up the house and do some laundry and, most important, make dinner for my little girl.  

That breathing issue or shuddering or whatever the heck it is, seems to come and go and I'm trying to figure out a common denominator.  

It didn't start until I started having her groomed instead of me grooming her myself because I was so weak after surgery.  I'm wondering if there's any possibility that could be the shampoo that is being used on her.  

I don't want to take her to her Veterinarian instead of great big load of drama.  When she had the stroke there were so many tests that it was beyond words overwhelming.  It was overwhelming to me so I pretty much figure it was almost impossible for my precious little girl.  

I know that I need to get somebody in here to vacuum and mop the floors or I need to get a burst of energy and that myself.  My back is not in such tremendous pain as it was before and I don't feel the extreme numbness in my legs and feet that I did before so it's probably just the depression that's keeping me from being able to accomplish things.  

The first time that I cleaned my house since the surgery felt greatly empowering.  I know that I did a better job than any hired person could do because I know where all the dirt actually is *(and I didn't throw anything extremely precious and valuable... The person that I hired to clean my bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen, right after the surgery threw out a perfume box that belong to perfume that I had for sale on eBay for $488.  It sold but I lost out on the deal because it had no box any longer.  It was on eBay for over 9 years and it finally sold but I couldn't ship it because it was not intact.  The buyer wouldn't even accept my offer to ship just the bottle for $100.  I have forgiven her but I can't figure out how anybody could be so stupid as to throw out a beautiful perfume box that was on my dresser 😡🤬)* 

I digress.  

I'm in the pits of extreme depression but I am trying to pull it together.  I bought steaks for TwinkleBelles so that she has proper food and nourishment and it is easy to put together for her.  I've yet to use the gift certificate that a wonderful friend gifted to us at Christmas.  I'm hoping that we can get petite sirloin instead of the bundles that they have with desserts and stuff.  I think I will probably have to get someone to take me to the store to ask them to do that.  I'm not positive that I can drive there yet though I want to.  

Precious little TwinkleBelles will have raw petite sirloin, corn, and broccoli florets tonight for her dinner.  

I am going to ask one of my neighbors to assist me taking her out bye-bye tomorrow.  I want her to be able to run around and visit her neighbors as she used to.  I just don't feel steady enough to do it on my own.  Much is probably due to anxiety at this point.  I know that because I feel very well until I anticipate getting into the shower and all of a sudden my legs start to get numb.  That is anxiety.  

We thank everyone in this wonderful Maltese community for being so very supportive as you have been since I've had the surgery.  You just wouldn't believe the things that have happened to me since I've had the surgery.  Blowing up into the wind and catching onto a tree to save my life and not get run over by a car was probably the hallmark!   

Oops... She just made that noise again.  I'm going to try to capture it on video so that people that have encountered it can possibly tell me if it's just something benign or something serious.  

Please keep in mind that I only vacuumed the house one time since December and I have been sneezing almost uncontrollably so it seems reasonable that the environment is affecting my precious little girl.   

If I can just get up the fortitude to go through here with the vacuum and a mop and take care of things I'm thinking that she'll be much better.  

The surgery was extremely difficult on me.  I think I'm doing much better now physically.  I think the depression is what's keeping me down now.  Losing all of my hair was not something that I planned on and it really affects how I feel about myself.  

Thank you, every single one of you, for how very kind you have been to me and TwinkleBelles!

We love you! 

Karyn & TwinkleBelles 👣💕🐾💕

My darling little TwinkleBelles seems to be doing better now but I find it questionable, what is the cause...