How can I help my partner until he’s able to get help?

This is a really long post I don’t think it’s possible to shorten it tbh so anyone that reads this I really do appreciate it.

A month and a half ago my husband dipped into a depressive state where he was saying he was beyond depressed and the most numb he’s ever felt. We’ve been together for 10 years and in those 10years he has always talked about being generally unhappy and bored with life. Things that he use to love went away we’ve had children and he loves them but never feel excited or happy for long. He has always expressed what I’ve read to be called if then (for example when I get this car I really want I’ll be happy, when I get this tattoo I’ll be happy) then the spark runs out and he’s back feeling how he did before.

I always figured he was depressed in some way and told him he should try therapy but he insisted that he’s felt like this for a long time and that it’s just how he is and how life is for him.

He’s been through two what I would say is some type or manic episodes once about a year after we got together and right now. The first time I figured he was just pressured by all of the adult goals we were moving into and just wanted to live like a fun party life. He has lost his grandfather some months before that he was really close to and having issues at home to where he had to move in with his sister. So I took a break I was like this is too much for me and he was like a completely different person he was there but he wasn’t being himself. He was being impulsive, blowing money, he pushed me away, he started drinking and doing drugs, not sleeping, he lost his job and it went in for 6m and he crashed and he was remorseful and was horribly drained and depressed. Not knowing any better because we were kids we just moved past it

This time we went through a bunch of really heavy life event a year and a half ago and his dad died which really tore him up but he was just pushing through it. When this started in February he found out he was having twin daughters which made him so happy because he’s been wanting daughters for a very long time and something just switched in him. I noticed he got really down and distant he started talking about joining the military and then he explained to me that he’s been beyond depressed and he’s numb and he feels like he doesn’t feel anything at all. He started eating maybe once a day.

I told him we should look into getting you help I think it would really help to try and pin point what’s going on and he was hesitant he also my looked sad and scared and then gone. No emotions since then days after he told me about this girl at his job that he now likes and they each other and how he wants both of us equally, he went out and has gotten 5 new tattoos, he blew thousands of dollars, he’s not sleeping, he won’t sit still he constantly going and going he barely wants to be in the house. Saying things like i feel untouchable like I can have whatever and whoever I want I’m more confident and me being completely hurt and confused because I didn’t really realize what was going on at first I’m like what are you doing like you’re risking so much and you’re being really reckless and then I realized we’ve been here before I seen the patterns. The pushing me away and shutting me out acting completely out of character I’m looking at a shell of a person that I actually know. Especially when he started saying how he knows the consequences and he’s knows what he’s doing is wrong but he doesnt feel bad he doesn’t feel sad he doesn’t feel anything he just wants to have fun. He keeps saying he never want to come out of this feeling but ik eventually he’s going to crash.

I’ve read the people with PDD don’t necessarily go into manic episodes so I’m not sure if maybe he may have some type of bipolar disorder as well or what all of this is new found to me. I also believe it’s hereditary because his sister also went through similar episodes both when her bf died and their dad. His father was also an alcoholic and I’m assuming probably had the same feelings. But all of this is here say because he hasn’t actually been evaluated. And because he’s in the mental state that he’s in there’s nothing I can do about it right now he is straight up is like there’s nothing wrong with me out everyone around him can tell he’s not himself. I’ve put away our money and I’ve told people closest to us so that way he has some sort of safety net when he falls out of it but other than that I don’t really know what to do.

Does anyone have any advice on this or ever experienced anything like this?

EDIT - I meant to also say we do couples therapy once a week and he’s also been drinking which he hates drinking he only drinks occasionally now he’s drinking until he’s drunk not everyday or something but more often