girl dinner but it’s just me trying to figure out if i’m actually a bad girlfriend or if i’m just way too sensitive to the idea of disappointing my partner

like i genuinely cannot tell anymore. i’ll bring something up because i’m trying to be open and honest about how i feel, and somehow it lands like i’m criticizing him or saying he’s doing something wrong… when in my head i’m just trying to say “hey something feels off with me and i need a little more connection”

but then he pulls back, says i’m always making him feel bad, and suddenly i’m sitting there wondering if i actually am the problem. like am i creating issues where there aren’t any? am i too much? do i just not know how to communicate without it coming across negatively?

and then i spiral because i don’t even feel like i’m asking for anything unreasonable. i’m not trying to blame him, i’m not trying to start fights, i just want to feel close and understood. but every time it goes wrong, it makes me question if i’m slowly ruining the relationship without realizing it

at the same time, i know i take things really hard. like the second i feel like i’ve upset him or disappointed him, it hits way deeper than it probably should. i start overanalyzing everything i said, everything i did, trying to figure out where i messed up… and it’s exhausting

so now i’m stuck in this constant back and forth of:

“this isn’t working, something’s off”

vs

“no, you’re just too sensitive and overthinking everything”

and i genuinely don’t know which one is true

P.S. external factors, partner takes medication where they are actively seeking one that’s not effecting libido, but haven’t found one yet, and it does have an effect on affection and drive. But I have never blamed them. I’ve just blamed myself for not being good enough. 

EDIT: also a large factor is when he feels criticized he shuts down and withdrawals, which is the exact opposite of what I’m asking for when having these conversations. I’ve told him this. He also says I go on forever, but it’s due to not feeling like he’s understanding. 

Bad girlfriend or if i’m just way too sensitive- French Onion Soup