Need help feel like I’m denail

Hey everyone,

I’ve been dealing with what my therapist believes is sexual orientation OCD (SO-OCD). I relate a lot to the intrusive thoughts, “what if” doubts, and constant mental checking around my sexuality.

Before this started, I never really questioned my sexuality. I felt comfortable with who I was and was actually getting ready to start a relationship. Then about 6 weeks ago, these thoughts just started hitting out of nowhere.

At first it caused a lot of panic and fear, but now it doesn’t feel like panic anymore—it’s more like numbness, detachment, and constantly checking how I feel. It’s like the anxiety burned out and now I just feel stuck and flat, which honestly makes me question things even more.

Another thing that’s been messing with me is my therapist asked me, “if nobody was watching, would you act on these urges?” and my honest answer was “I don’t know probably not .” Ever since then my brain has been running with that, like “does that mean this is real?” or “is this actually a shift?” I was perfectly happy 7weeks ago

Even after being told it’s likely OCD, I’ve started doubting the diagnosis itself. My mind keeps going “what if it’s not OCD and it’s actually something else?” and then I get pulled right back into analyzing, checking feelings, and trying to figure it out for sure.

It feels like no matter what answer I get, my brain finds a new angle to question it. Reassurance doesn’t really stick, and I end up right back in the same loop.

I’m in therapy and working on it, but I wanted to ask others who’ve dealt with OCD:

•	Did you go through a phase of doubting the diagnosis itself?

•	Has anyone else experienced that shift from panic to numbness?

•	How did you stop engaging with the constant questioning and “I need to figure this out” feeling?

Right now I’m just trying to keep moving forward with the life I wanted—working toward a wife and kids—even through all this noise, but it’s honestly really confusing.

Would really appreciate hearing from people who’ve been through something similar.