Unhygienic housemate

I’ve been living in a house with a woman in her mid 40’s for 6 months now and her unhygienic habits are really getting to me. I hadn’t noticed them fully until I’d moved in as she had the house ‘cleaned’ the day I came for an inspection.

I want to talk about it with her but don’t want to embarrass her.

She tidies up, but never ever cleans. Wouldn’t know what cleaning a toilet or bathroom is if it slapped her in the face. Dirty dishes and bench tops with food remains, dirty clothes left around, visibly dirty underwear left in front of the washing machine for days on end (which she also uses as her laundry basket and is full all the time. So if I want to use it, I have to remove her dirty clothes). Her dog drags them around the house…. Poor dog also goes months without a bath and she refuses to acknowledge his bad breath makes the house smell. She says she can’t smell anything. She leaves skid marks on the toilet seat which is why I keep a bottle of cleaning spray in the toilet now.

She has a drinking problem and this week I had to confront her about taking some of my booze (I rarely drink) without asking and she kicked off a teary monologue about how she’s had a bad week at work that’s why she drank it.

She gets drunk a lot and leaves every light in the house on, doors open, taps running, heating lamps turned on (in summer), cigarette ash all over the outdoor setting, empty and half glasses left around the house. She even got up at 4am one morning after a binge to shower and put washing on. That’s when I found soiled underwear in the corner of the shower. I had to ask her to remove them a day later after she’d showered twice….. she did not clean the shower.

The rent is cheap and she is usually not home as she stays at her partners place a lot, which is why I have put up with it for so long. But I’m at the point of needing to say something and don’t know exactly how to approach all of these things without making her feel small. When she’s sober, she’s really quite nice and always positive and energetic and I love her dog. I just can’t go on like this.