Apparently this isn’t grooming. I’m confused.

Dealing with stuff from when I was 15 and 16. I was with this older guy who was in my friend group, and he got us all into drugs and alcohol. When I was 15, we kissed after he gave me wine, and he knew how old I was I even told him, and he didn’t try to stop it. He's said otherwise before, but he knew. Right after I turned 16, things got sexual between us.

Now I know he was a convicted rapist and sex offender who had just gotten out of prison, which makes me feel like I was groomed. He also slept with my 16-year-old friend around the same time. Even though I was technically old enough for part of our relationship, I still feel super violated and grossed out because of the power dynamic and his past. I'm wondering if I should report it, especially since I'm feeling even worse about it now. Is it okay for me to feel this way, and am I at fault for any of this

I was really struggling with my mental health at the time, hurting myself and not in a good place. I’d even run out in the middle of the night to see him because I felt like “he understood me” and had me.

Looking back, he got into my head. He made me believe he was a good person and that I could trust him. I was young, naive, and vulnerable. He first showed interest in me when I was fifteen. I may have turned sixteen not long after, but that’s still a child.

People focus on the age of consent, but it goes way deeper than that. He was the one buying alcohol, and nothing ever happened sober. It feels like he knew exactly what he was doing—that getting us drunk would make it easier to get what he wanted.

He also created an emotional bond, but now it’s clear that a lot of that was false. This wasn’t just some innocent situation—it was calculated, and it wasn’t right.