If this gets too much attention I might delete this because i hate rereading these text back it makes me emotional.

But this conversation is between me and my mom and honestly we used to actually be close. Until stuff happened with her ex and me and then I got pregnant by a boy that she didn’t like nor approve. So since these things are relationship has been tense. Plus she’s a recovering drug addict so it’s a lot of issues. Before her addiction she used to micromanage me and now she’s sober I think she wants to return to that…

But My mom likes the guy I’m currently seeing and it’s mostly because he’s from my church and his family has money. 

Then for me one the cons is because he goes to my church so the way he wants our marriage is very by the bible. But he would be the head of the household. So he will get the final word on mostly everything. He would also want to try for babies and that’s not good for multiple of reasons.. but also my doctor  told me since my last pregnancy was so high risk that the next one could be even more difficult and fatal. So it’s a lot of things to considered.

It does get to me when people already think my son is going to screwed up because of his dad, when he’s such a happy baby and very gentle with the cat. I received news that My son’s dad was formerly diagnosed by a doctor and he has antisocial personality disorder and It’s apparently genetic. I looked it up and immediately started sobbing. Because I don’t want to think he could be that way, but everyone already thinks he is I don’t know what to do. So do I just get married for the sake of my son having a father figure..( also I’m gonna show my grandma these messages regardless but she’s not going to be happy) 

My mom’s reaction to me not wanting to get married..