How to not be possessive with a FWB?

Hi Gaybros! I’m 35 and have been seeing a guy (47) about once a month for around two years. He first hit me up on Grindr. I actually rejected him a couple of times at the start, but he’s pretty charming.

He’s been upfront the whole time about being in a 15-year open relationship. They opened it after his partner cheated. They worked through it and came to a mutual arrangement, but things haven’t quite been the same for him since.

Over time, we’ve developed a friendship. He even came to stay with me when I moved to the country for work. He’s really kind, patient, and we have great sexual chemistry. He also likes to party, and I’m aware he has other FWBs and casual hookups. This was initially fine as I’m looking for a relationship and was happy to just enjoy our time together but admittedly I’ve developed a crush on him.

I’d like to keep seeing him while also dating outside of our arrangement, but I’m starting to feel possessive and jealous, also comparing him to new guys feels unfair…. I find myself wanting more communication, even though I know I’m not really entitled to it. I’m aware that while we are friends, the context of our relationship isn’t exactly conventional and to me.

So I feel a bit stuck. It seems like I either need to quietly manage these feelings and just enjoy the time we have, or be honest with him about how I feel and confront the inevitable ending of things. The latter feels a bit sad, because I’m really attracted to him, and he’s also helped me work through some of the shame I developed during my time in the church. There seems to be an ease.

Gaybros, how do I stop this cycle of possessiveness? I have a feeling this might be a pattern for me in dating more generally. Or is it too late for me, and should I just preserve my heart and let this go?

I would appreciate any advice!