Am I wrong to be upset&disappointed that I work 10-12hrs/day and my spouse can’t even keep our house squared away?

I have no issue supporting her and I prefer having her stay at home to raise our growing family.

Besides paying for bills, both vehicles loans, mortgage insurance, and subscriptions, I give her a total allowance of ~$1,800/month in 3 payments throughout the month for whatever she needs/wants. She claims she’s so busy raising our daughter or running errands (on hold on the phone switching services from our apartment to newly purchased home) and that she can’t do anything and always needs her daily coffee run. Idc if she treats herself to a coffee. I’ve spent money or worst bs.

I never deny her when she asks to go out to eat/drink with friends while I stay home with the baby. But during those 5-8hrs of babysitting I get dishes done. Put 2-3 loads to wash and dry (I don’t get to fold everything but fold most) make a meal for my daughter and I and have a nap until mom comes home. She says I have high expectations because I have more energy. She naps more. Sleeps late and wakes up late with the baby and I never nap. im up at 6am go to work and return between 5-7pm.

Am I in the wrong? Am I expecting too much from her? I feel I’ve failed in spoiling her, but when I show my outrage by pointing the obvious lil things I expect. She’ll quickly return money I gave her for her and says I was busy.

But I can not see how she was so busy that for 10hrs she could fucking do dishes, put a load to wash, pack up our small items into boxes to easily money into our new home.

Am I wrong? What would you do? I love her. She’s my home and the women I want to raise our children with but holy fuck my mood just gets fuckin ruined coming home to an unchanged disorganized home.