Being promiscuous after avoidant break up

I (32F) used to be very secure and relationship-oriented. I always loved the idea of having a best friend, building a life together, and eventually having a family. I’ve never been into one-night stands or casual setups before—only long-term relationships.

But both of my serious relationships really hurt me. One cheated, and the last one… I relocated for him, gave it everything, and he ended up feeling “suffocated” and dumped me. He was quite avoidant, and I tried so hard to make it work because I loved him deeply. That breakup honestly destroyed me and my future.

I did get over my first relationship quickly, but this last one changed something in me. Now I feel like I can’t connect with anyone emotionally. I’ve tried dating again, but I panic and pull away. It’s like I’ve become the avoidant one, which is so unlike who I used to be.

I ended up sleeping with someone on a first date, and now I feel tempted to keep doing that with other Tinder dates. It’s confusing because it doesn’t align with who I thought I was—but at the same time, I feel kind of numb and disconnected, like I can’t do relationships anymore.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of shift after being hurt?