walked my self into the sea at 3 am with the intention to kms and now idk who to contact

hi!! sorry if this is hard to read or a bit nonsensical

I don't really have the correct words to describe what I've been going through the past couple of years without writing a list of strange behaviours that I have been experiencing which is not something I am going to bother you guys with.

If I had to summarise it, it would be that I am constantly depressed to the point where it has become my normal and then I experience random rushes of motivation. And yeah most of the time these rushes are positive ( meal prepping for a week in one night, cleaning my room etc) but then sometimes I do shit like go on a several hour long walk in the middle of the night down dangerous places in my town w my headphones on. A couple of months ago I ended up walking myself into the sea at 3 am. I was having a good time ( i can't really describe it lol but i was having a ball ). But I did have the intention of seriously harming myself.

I will having some quite dangerous thoughts over the past couple of years ,which i won't get into ,and he's come to my attention that I might need to seek help but I have no idea where to begin. My School offers a counselling program that I believe is focused on anxiety, depression and adhd. but idk if that's the place to go.

last year i ended up calling 111 and they got in contact with my GP but I had a horrendous experience with the mental health professional there. And I think the reason for that was because she was not quite equipped to handle my situation she tried to get me to look into having adhd ? Unfortunately, because of this I know have extreme paranoia when it comes to health professionals. I know it sounds ridiculous but I am under the very serious belief that they are out to get me and are plotting on my downfall.

i did also get referred to talk therapy but the lady told me she wasn't qualified to help me.

basically what I'm trying to say is I don't know if I should go back to a go a GP ( I moved GP because I've moved to Wales for university ) or if i should go down a different path ( counselling at school School or a secret third option ) .

Also if i go to a GP what the hell do i say ? like i feel like they won't take me seriously.

p.s I do also need some slight validation that my actions are not normal because occasionally I can convince myself that everybody believes that that somebody breaking into their room in the middle of the night and stealing stuff from them.