appeal letter help!!

i’m currently putting together an appeal letter and would appreciate any input! i know $12000 is a HUGE ask, but i figured it couldn’t hurt to ask, the worst they can say is no. my biggest concern is that i don’t have any updates stats or awards, nor do i have any other circumstances to mention.

Dear [ADMISSIONS OFFICER NAME],

My name is [NAME], and I am writing to request a reconsideration of my financial aid offer. I would like to begin by thanking you for my acceptance to [SCHOOL], as well as the generous scholarship offer. I am beyond honored and excited about the possibility of attending in the fall, as [SCHOOL] is my top choice and checks all of my boxes when it comes to choosing an institution.

I am especially drawn to the University for its strong anthropology program and study abroad opportunities associated with it, as well as research opportunities. I also value the sense of community surrounding [SCHOOL], which makes it feel like a place where I could succeed both academically and personally.

While I am truly grateful for the support I have received, the remaining cost is still a significant challenge for me and may make it very difficult for me to attend. I have received a financial aid offer from another institution that alleviates more of the financial burden, which makes this a very difficult decision.

At this time, there is approximately a $12,000 gap between my offer from [SCHOOL] and my next top choice. Closing this gap would make enrollment possible for me. Any possible additional grant or scholarship support would make an incredibly meaningful difference.

Thank you so much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

[NAME]

[STUDENT ID]