Living with my parents is making it really hard to parent my daughter

I’m feeling really overwhelmed and honestly just need some advice.

My daughter Aurora is at that age where she tests boundaries a lot. She doesn’t always listen, so my partner Peter(her soon to be stepfather) and I are working on being consistent with her. Peter can sound a little harsh sometimes when he corrects her, but he’s not yelling or anything, he’s just very firm and direct. And to be honest, it works.

What I really appreciate is that after those moments, he always softens. He’ll sit with her, explain things gently, tell her he loves her, and give her a hug. It’s not just discipline, it’s also reassurance, and I think that balance is really important. I can’t lie, she’s been spoiled, and coddled by us but mostly her grandparents, as I still live with them and my partner now has moved in, paying rent.

The problem is my parents… who, as I said, we currently live with,

Anytime Aurora gets upset, like if I tell her no to something simple like ice cream, she’ll cry HARD. And I don’t give in, because I don’t want her to learn that crying will change my answer.

But then my parents step in and completely undo everything.

They’ll say things like “it’s okay baby, don’t cry, we’ll get it for you” and then give her exactly what I just said no to. It’s gotten to the point where Aurora will run to them as soon as she hears “no” from me because she knows they’ll say yes and undermine me.

It makes me feel like I’m not being respected as a parent at all, and it’s honestly making things harder for everyone.

I’ve talked to them about this multiple times and explained why it’s an issue, but nothing really changes.

We are planning to move out this summer because this situation just isn’t working. We’re also planning to have another child, and things have gotten even more complicated. We are on vacation with my parents here, and my mom has even said she won’t be involved with the new baby because Peter will be the father, which really hurt and made me look at everything differently.

I feel stuck because we’re living in their house, but at the same time I feel like I can’t parent the way I need to.

Has anyone dealt with something like this while living with family? How do you handle boundaries when you’re under someone else’s roof?