I feel Bleh

For the past 3 months, possibly more I have felt nothing. Not like normal nothing. I mean all of my emotions, confidence, energy, drive. They all feel so translucent. I still have them and they are there but. Barely. I use to play games every-night and have fun but now unless one of my buddies ask to play I don’t do anything. My ⬛️🟧 addiction that I was clean for little over 6 months came back. I just don’t feel like me but I don’t want to die or hurt myself but I also don’t really want to live my life rn. I’m just in this state where I feel like the real me is fading and I’m becoming a shell of a man.

Now the only things that changed were. I started therapy, a new job. Then around the end of February I lost therapy because my new insurance sucks. I am not sure if going into therapy and starting it and realizing how much baggage I am holding or what