Partner [27f] freaks out over a woman we both have to work with and is pissed if I [25f] have to interact with her.

My girlfriend and I have been together for just 1 year now. We met at work (i know) but things have been great, we’ve had issues like her alcoholism. But she’s now in early stages of getting sober, she’s in therapy, she’s on medication from her psychiatrist.

When things are good they are great, we have deep conversations about life and things we have been through. We talk about the things each one of us does that we should work on. I’ve been making changes so I can be a better partner to her. I have anger issues and just general trauma from things I’ve been through, and it’s the same with her.

The problem is that our entire relationship, she has said she can’t trust me. Sometimes she’ll say she does and that I’ve never given her a reason not to (which I haven’t).

The last like 5 months have been absolute hell. We work at a factory and while she’s just a regular employee, I am in a slightly higher position with a team of other people. There’s this one woman that I have to work with a lot, we’ll just name her Mandy (not her real name).

Well Mandy is on my team and she’s a great employee. Whenever a machine acts up or break, Mandy will come and tell me so I can fix it. Mandy has never once acted inappropriately, has never made a move on me, it has been completely professional. I used to be friendlier with Mandy and just have regular conversations with her. But my girlfriend was constantly accusing me of ‘being in love with Mandy’.

As a result of this, I have stopped talking to Mandy at all unless it relates to the job. I have responsibilities as a lead that I HAVE to interact with the people on my team.

Our latest problem is that, when I HAVE to interact with Mandy, my girlfriend completely freaks the fuck out and starts a days-long argument. During these arguments, my girlfriend completely refuses to listen to anything I have to say. I have explained that I avoid interaction with Mandy unless it is job related and I can not help that.

Our supervisor wants Mandy on my team because she is a great worker. Against my own judgment, I have asked him to move Mandy to another team, but that obviously pissed him off and he refused. I’ve told my girlfriend this as well.

I do not care about Mandy outside of I have to work with her. I am going to be leaving this job soon to go into the military and I’ve already bought my girlfriend a proposal ring which she is vaguely aware of. But this kind of behavior scares the shit out of me. How can I count on her to not do this same shit over some other woman I HAVE to work with down the road?

Every time we have this SAME argument, she apologizes and says she knows I love her and that she’s being over dramatic. But then it’s like all of that goes away and we start over with the same shit again.

I don’t know what else to do. Is there another approach I should be taking when I talk to my girlfriend? Is there a certain way I should be explaining this to her? It’s to the point where I am beyond frustration and I engage in the argument fully back with her which isn’t good for either of us.

Yesterday she started this argument again, and I handled it differently this time. I calmly told her that the supervisor told me Mandy was helping me with a task, and that it is not at all a big deal and that I loved HER. I was also very sick yesterday which just made it so much worse, she still did the same exact thing like clockwork. My girlfriend completely ignores my existence, not even looking at me, will not let me touch her in any way, and the one time she did look at me she gave me the nastiest look she could possibly make. I tried giving her space but it was like she was still at a level 100 when I came back later to try to interact with her.

[tldr; Me and my girlfriend work together. There’s a woman we work with that my girlfriend hates but I’m a lead and I have to work with this other woman. My girlfriend freaks out anytime I have to work with this woman. I don’t know how else to tell her it’s not a big deal and I can’t control interacting with this woman. ]