Question for you all.

I tried posting this on AITAH, apparently it wasn’t “serious” enough or something of the sort, so I figured I’d come here instead. Also, kind of long so don’t be obligated to read or comment if you don’t want to.

I (f30) am currently 8 months pregnant with my first and probably only child due to being high risk because of my GD and Epilepsy. She was a surprise, but is still very much loved and wanted by everyone.

My grandma (f77) has basically raised all her grandkids, the youngest now being 17 so we all aren’t of babysitting/being raised age anymore. She was always very involved and active and we always had fun when we were at her house. She now lives with me, my fiancé (m31) and my mom (f56). She has very little mobility anymore, and has a walker due to chronic back pain. We all try and do what we can to help in any way, but she has always been independent and hates when people try and help.

Now, here is my question: I have read up and watched about rules/boundaries parents have for their child(ren), and most if not all make perfect sense yet others believe those rules don’t apply to them or that ignore them all together. My fiancé and I have chosen these: hand washing before holding/touching her, absolutely no kisses especially anywhere on her face. RSV is huge and I’m not risking my daughter’s health because you want to “love up” on her. This one isn’t too serious, but I still implementing it: pictures are fine, asking for a picture of you and her, but do NOT post it on any social media. I get it, you want to show her off. She is your first great grand baby, as well as your first grandchild. Really those are the only ones, so far, my fiancé and I implemented most.

My grandma wasn’t too keen on these rules/boundaries. Mainly because my parents and my aunt and uncle didn’t implement any of them. She basically had free will, and if anyone tried to say something they were hit with “this is what we did back in my day, nothing happened to anyone so nothing will happen to them”. She tried saying that to me, and I said that if she tried any of those (the kisses and no hand washing), she would not be able to hold her. She called me and my fiancé selfish and assholes. Another reason now is “I’m dying, I should be able to do what I want”. No ma’am, no you cannot.

She now will not talk to me or my fiancé till we “apologize” and/or “change our minds”. My question for you all is: am I implementing “too much” and she is right or am I implementing just enough and she is being overly dramatic? Be honest!