Did I mess things up with a girl I’ve been gaming with, or am I overthinking? Need honest advice

I know this is online and started through a game, which isn’t exactly the most conventional situation and is a bit embarrassing even to be this worked up over—but it happened anyway. It feels real to me, so I’m looking for genuine advice.

I could really use some outside perspective because I feel like I fumbled this, and I can’t stop replaying it.

I met this girl online about ~2 weeks ago through a game. Since then, we’ve been playing together a lot—like 6–12 hours a day sometimes, usually just the two of us in voice chat. It’s not just silent gaming either—we joke around, talk about random stuff, personal things, and the vibe has felt really good.

She laughs a lot at things I say, we share a lot of the same interests, and our personalities seem to mesh well. She’s also been pretty proactive—she’s randomly messaged me, asked to add me on other platforms (Steam, etc.), asked for my real name early on, and even started calling me by a nickname.

Because of all that (and other details), it started to feel like there might be some interest there beyond just casual gaming.

The whole dating online and especially through gaming of all things, isn't really something I bothered with since I was a teenager. But I was starting to think things could lead to something more, especially given her situation and mine. It seemed plausible that things could progress in person at some point, if it even did go that way.

Fast forward to today—we got into a conversation about friendships and relationships. I basically said that, based on my experience, I don’t really believe in guy/girl friendships long-term unless there’s no attraction or you grew up together. Not saying it’s impossible for everyone, just that it hasn’t worked out for me personally. She said she could see that and that it made sense from my perspective.

A couple of hours later, the topic came up again, and she casually referred to us as “friends.” This is where I think I messed up. I (probably stupidly) pushed back in a joking way and said we were more like acquaintances, referencing what we talked about earlier. In reality, I think I reacted like that because I didn’t want to get mentally locked into the “just a friend” category if I actually liked her, so I just desperately threw that term out there. Maybe somewhere I felt like she would get the hint that I felt differently about her. But I don't think it went through to her.

That’s where things went downhill.

She said she thought we were friends because we’ve been playing so much together, which is completely fair in hindsight. From there, I got kind of awkward and defensive instead of just being honest about how I felt. I didn’t say “I like you”—instead, I tried to explain my “viewpoint,” made up a dumb story about a past situation to justify it, and ended up talking in circles. Honestly, looking back, I regret ever mentioning any of this to her and just enjoying each other's company and seeing where things progress. But I just got so caught up in being in a box that it made me insecure.

I'm sure the whole thing probably came off as awkward, overly defensive, and maybe even insecure

It then became a whole back and forth of: "Well, if you think of us as friends, we can still be friends, it doesn't matter if I think otherwise, etc. Looking back, it was just stupid backtracking / talking in circles to try to salvage my standing, I suppose. Whatever that means. She never got mad or anything; it was more like just going back and forth for no reason. I didn't really know where to go from there, not wanting to be called friends, but at that point, just trying to lose what potential I almost naively thought we could have. Regardless, she did say that she understood why I felt that we were "acquaintances" based on my beliefs and experiences that I had mentioned to her before, and she was fine with that. Afraid it would simply end there, I said that I still wanted to play with her and talk like we had been, and she agreed.

Eventually, we landed on “it doesn’t really matter, we can still play,” and she said she understands my viewpoint. But now, where do we stand? Either way, it didn’t end badly on the surface, but the vibe definitely felt off compared to before.

Now I’m stuck in my head about it. On one hand, we were playing for hours every day, she was engaging a lot and initiating things, and she went out of her way to ask if she could add me on multiple platforms. Along with the subtle flirts and eagerness to get to know me better.

On the other hand, she clearly referred to me as a “friend and I made things awkward instead of handling it normally.

She even mentioned to her childhood friend that she “found a friend she plays 10+ hours a day and enjoys talking/playing with,” which hit me a bit.

So now I’m feeling like I made things weird when I didn’t need to, and I might have hurt my chances by handling it poorly. Also, potentially pushed myself into the “just a friend” category, and I came off less confident than I wanted to.

At the same time, she still wants to play, which makes it confusing. And at no point did she say that us being friends was fine because she's not into me or doesn't see me in that way (or ever will). In fact, interest or attraction was never even mentioned, which led me to think maybe it was there, but something that needed to grow. Either way, I may have dropped the ball, so to speak to early and make things weird. When I should have just let the friend thing slide and move forward, which maybe I can still even do after all this? I would be fine if that's simply how she operates, and maybe it's my fault for not being in situations or relationships where that becomes the norm, i.e., friends becoming something more mutually.

Part of me feels like I should’ve just let things naturally progress instead of trying to control the situation or avoid being “friend-zoned.” Another part of me worries I already messed up whatever potential there was.

So I guess I’m trying to figure out: Did I actually mess this up, or is this something that can recover naturally? Did I accidentally push her into seeing me strictly as a friend? Should I address the awkward conversation again, or just move on and act normal? Is there still a realistic path to something more, or should I just accept it as a friendship?

I'm leaving out some details that are probably too lengthy and maybe not even relevant. I've asked friends who seem to agree that they would also be led to believe there was something there, after reading messages and describing conversations. At the same time, she is a bit awkward and nonconventional in ways, so who knows. Regardless, as I understand this situation probably seems cringe given I've not met this woman in person before and the whole online dynamic, but I'd still appreciate genuine advice on what I should do. At the very least, I hope I can grow from this and better understand how I can move forward regarding relationships in general, and whether my mindset going into this was flawed, or if I just let insecurity get the better of me.