My mom and stepdad love to diminish me.

Lately, it’s been like my mom[35F] and my stepdad [29M] love to diminish me [17F] as a person.

To start out, I’m the oldest in the house. I’m left constant responsibilities. I watch my siblings, which include 4F (autistic), 8F, 11F, and 14M. I’ve been taking care of my autistic lil sister since she was born. When I get home from school, I make sure they do their homework, shower, and clean their room the best I’m able. My sisters 8F and 11F constantly bicker, and it’s so bad they say one another hits eachother, and it’s overwhelming. One time I texted my mom about their behavior and my stepdad just texted me saying “Stop texting mom. Handle it” like they were my own kids??? It’s exhausting. I’m trying to be my own person, but I’m not able to with my parents. I do chores as well of course, but honestly it’s a load. My stepdad is some sort of neat freak, so we clean almost everyday.

The other day, my cousin [19M] came home with my brother from the Grand Canyon. We all sat don to have a nice dinner, and I was simply talking to my cousin about college. He helped me start a resume, and I thought everything was fine. He left, and my stepdad told me to put my stuff in his room. I was confused at what I had done. At night, I heard my mom yelling about me. Saying how “We do so much just for her to say dumb stuff about us. My parents yelled at me because of her.” Apparently, my grandparents had yelled at my mom about having me watch the kids all the time, especially the baby. So I got in trouble for it. I never told my grandparents anything, they just see how I watch her. I literally never say anything bad about my parents to family. I just say to others “I have to watch the baby!!” whenever they ask something, because I do??? How is that my fault that my parents make me??? I do appreciate what my parents do but none of anything was my fault. Then she randomly started yelling about how “She has a shrine of her dad and he never did jack shit.” My dad died in October of 2025, and ever since, I have a lil memorial of my dad in my room. So, I took it down when I heard it. I put his picture away. He wasn’t the best father, but obviously that was my dad. I suppose I’m not allowed to feel grief. With them, any emotion I can’t feel. I can’t be upset or angry, but they can of course. I’ve cut my arms multiple times and they haven’t even bat an eye. She just kept going on about me. Yesterday, she yelled at me when putting away the dishes saying “You have to stop making yourself seem so important around others, you don’t do fucking anything around here.” I clearly do, I literally do a lot, sometimes I get a lil exhausted, and yet apparently I don’t do anything. That really just destroyed me. Years of doing everything for everyone, and apparently I do nothing. I don’t know what to do, they love to yell at me and degrade me. It’s been like this for years and they don’t even see it. They don’t see that they’re only making my mental health worse. I really am trying. But they don’t believe I’m capable of doing anything or be independent. Like when I told my cousin I was gonna start doing scholarships for Spring Break because I’m able and my parents said “No you were not, shut up.” like I’m so incapable??… I didn’t end up doing any this week because all they’ve done is yelled at me. I wasn’t fit to start any, and it’s upsetting because I was so dedicated to trying. What am I to do?? They’ll always view me this way and won’t care how I feel.